Not-So-Newlywed Adventures: The Great Unknown

When I learned my husband was up for a significant promotion at his work, my first instinct was—regrettably—not excitement. Instead, fear and doubt filled me.

Although the intellectual side of my brain was excited for Luke to advance his career in a job he loves, the emotional side knew it would require a great deal of his time and energy. I was anxious about how our marriage would stand up to that kind of strain and anxious about where a promotion might eventually lead.  We’ve been through less-than-ideal jobs, prayers answered with “No,” and discontented dwelling in forests of question marks. We have only grown together through all of those situations, but this seemed like something new I wasn’t sure I had the skills to handle.

When I feel that kind of worry coursing through my mind and emotions, no amount of talking it out—no matter how many vanilla lattes may be involved—is going to cut it. I must write, and I won’t admit here how many journals I have filled through the years. My typical journal entry is a prayer, usually spilling out all the worries and fears crowding my mind, then making some requests about how I think the situation should be resolved. If I write long enough, I may manage to end with some form of, “…but I will be content with what You make happen because You know best.” Sometimes, that’s just how life works for us Type-A planners.

God must have known I needed a while before I could get to that place of contentment because two weeks passed before we got the results of the interview. Continue reading Not-So-Newlywed Adventures: The Great Unknown

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The 2011 Imaginary Family Project – Week 34

#34 of 52 : AUNT CATHLEEN AND MOTHER
The Imaginary Family Project - Week 34

External Photo Clues:
None

Imagine:
It slipped from Aunt Cathleen’s Bible, fluttering delicately to the old rose rug – it was her favorite back in the day.   I just stared…the picture was very familiar…OK…I remember…Oh yes, I remember….

Auntie Cathleen was livid.  The hatred in her stare, her long gloved fingers clutched in such tight fist.  Cold chills run up my arms and I actually shivered thinking back.  She had refused to even look at the camera…Yep she was ready to fight.

She had come to take me away, again….She being my Mother and on her fifth marriage. This one like the others was “the one”….”her prince charming”….  If I had known about such things back then I would have said, “Mother you don’t have to get married just to have sex…”  Whoa, what an uproar that would have caused. In 1939 that would have been sacrilegious words.  You did not know your mate in the intimate manner until you were married.  Now-a-day couples do…as my Auntie Cathleen would say it, “sleep together” before the wedding night.

I turned 79 years old today and I believe I have arrived at the age where I can say the things out loud that I only use to think…That’s one of the perks of getting old and senile. I can now say it and no one is really shocked.  Oh, they pretend they are but most of the time their glad someone just come out and said it. Continue reading The 2011 Imaginary Family Project – Week 34

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Real Men Are Punctual

I recently attended the memorial service for a man who, by everyone’s account, had lived an incredibly full and blessed life of 77 years. The reverend eulogizing this fine man described his incredible gift of woodworking—of creating—and his generosity with that gift. The reverend mentioned his military service, his beekeeping, and the loving family of which he was the patriarch. The reverend listed the distinguishing aspects of his character—those qualities by which he’d be remembered by friends and family alike. Among that list was this statement:

“He was honest, punctual, and direct.”

Honesty and directness are the type of qualities I’d expect to hear listed in such a memorial, as they’re the kind of deep-rooted values that drive our major life decisions, the kind of values we’d all hope would be remarked upon when we pass.

The mention of punctuality didn’t seem to fit the category of the other two. And so, over the next few days, I asked myself two questions: First, How considerate of time must a man have to be in order for his punctuality to be remarked upon at his passing? Second, why does punctuality matter, particularly for the man trying to understand his identity?

The answers to these two questions sort of merged together in my mind into one response. For the root of this answer, I turned to an unexpected source: a corny, silly, and not particularly well-remembered movie, Blast from the Past. Admittedly, it’s not the place I’d normally expect to find the answer to any meaningful question, but there my memory leads me.

“Manners are a way of showing other people we care about them.”
-Adam (Brendan Fraser)

I think we can agree that this aphorism is intuitively true. Next, we can also agree that punctuality is part of manners. The transitive property then tells us that punctuality is a way of showing other people we care about them.

A punctual man is telling others through his timeliness that he cares about them, that he respects their time and their obligations enough to be where he said he’d be when he said he’d be there. Such a man merits the utmost respect—the kind of respect he’s showing others by being on time, all the time.

A punctual man also understands what tardiness implies about his own identity. He recognizes what a consistently late man is. A consistently late man isn’t malicious, nor is he odious. But he just isn’t aware. He isn’t foresighted. He’s a bit selfish. He’s somewhat careless.

So punctuality provides us with two opportunities:

One, to show that we—as real men—care about others.

Two, to show that we understand who we are and who we want to be.

From “Finding Manhood,” by David.

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On the Horizon: The Thesis of What Agriculturalists Today Are Thinking

When I joined the Oklahoma Agricultural Leadership Program (OALP) a year ago, I didn’t have a clue what I was in for. We’ve gone across the state and seen so much what Oklahoma farmers and ranchers do and have found out what it really takes to be in the agriculture business today. It has really opened my eyes and I’m glad to be a part of such a wonderful organization and to be able to say I am a member of Class XV.

But I think one of the most useful aspects of the program, is the people we meet who are in our class. It is a network of people from across the state from all walks of life who become your friends. They are someone you can call for anything and be able to count on them to be there for you. My classmates are extremely talented, intelligent people. I sometimes feel intimidated by their knowledge. In this week’s video blog, meet Shannon Cunningham, one of my OALP classmates who I feel really sums up what Oklahoma agriculture is all about.

~ Alisa Hines

 

On the Horizon: Making Agriculture Count from Alisa Hines on Vimeo.

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My Little Victory Garden…Became a Memorial Garden Garden

I check my garden every day.  Most days it needs water; rarely has it needed weeding of late.  Even weeds react to the hot weather, I suppose.

Yesterday, Oklahoma broke its personal record for the most consecutive days over the 100 degree Fahrenheit mark.  So, yesterday when I was checking my garden I looked at it long and hard and thought to myself:

“Okay, tomato plants…are you going to make it ’till fall so you can produce again? Peppers, you look long and spindly and – barren.  Eggplants, oh hey – I have one eggplant…surprise! Out of the eight fall okra stalks I planted, two didn’t get eaten by worms.  We mi-i-i-ght have okra.”  This internal chatter was going on in my head as I walked the length of the garden, assessing what was left and whether or not I should turn on the sprinkler for a bit or just hand water.

I reached the end of my garden and stopped.  A few days ago I had planted three rows of Chinese long beans.  My carpool partner, Dr. Liu, had given me a bag of beans and I wanted to see how they grew.  Last week I had put my summer compost stock on the garden and so I gave the beans the “special” garden plot, all freshly renewed with black gold.  When I reached that section, however, not only were the long beans making progress but so was about 50-100…? They looked like cucumbers, watermelon, squash, or something similar.  So the count was like this: Long bean, 5-10 little mystery plants, long bean, 5-10 little mystery plants.  Looks like my black gold was full of vegetable seeds that held on through the cooking process.

It was evening, and I was staring at a good sized weeding job.  Or was I?  Did I need to pull these little plants up just yet?  I wasn’t sure.  As I was standing there looking across about 18 square feet of composted garden covered in tiny sprouts my mind wandered back to the news I had just watched on T.V.  Oklahoma was losing soldiers more frequently this last month and I was overcome with helpless, desperate grief.  That emotion was what compelled me to leave the living room and walk outside in the first place.

As I studied the hundreds of sprouts, in my mind they began to turn into the hundreds of white graves I sat among when I visited Arlington National Cemetery a few years ago.  Continue reading My Little Victory Garden…Became a Memorial Garden Garden

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