Shaking the Saddlebags #3: I Don’t Know Myself Anymore

This is Brennan. He's my Tuesday trainer. Brennan - Tuesdays, Molly - Thursdays. Someday - just me...all on my own.

See Fantastic Fear Trifecta for previous ‘Saddlebags’ entry.


Last week, the wind was whipping around our campus buildings at full force, temperatures were somewhere in the lower-frigid quadrant and I was walking in my medium-high heels to The Little Bakery.  From my office to this cozy little establishment is the equivalent of about two city blocks in distance.  I hadn’t taken four steps outside when I thought, “Forget this, I’m running.”  I ran on my toes all the way to the cafe, kicking in my “running-type breathing” about halfway there.

I walked in, checked out the healthy meals in the cooler, didn’t like what I saw and walked over to the second display to view the salads.  Then I got lost in thought: I had just chosen to run.  In heels, no less. Whaaattt?? I’m sorry, who am I?  And, when have I ever CHOSEN to run in – oh, say – the last year?

Then I remembered I CHOSE to walk up the stairs that day.  The choice wasn’t even conscious.  I just remember thinking, “I want to stretch my legs.”  That’s it.  Then I thought back to my workout on Tuesday.  It was brutal…I had gotten there a little late due to an advising session with one of my students and I didn’t really warm up.  We spent most of the time lifting weights, and at the end of the session, Brennan said, “Okay. That’s it – you’re done.”

So what did I say back to him? “Um, the bottom part of my arms right here…they don’t feel stretched out.”  He said, “Okay – then you need to take these (he hands me the weights) and start here on both sides, by your ears, and lift them straight up.”  I did, my muscles felt more stretched and worked, and THEN we were done.  “Thanks,” I said.  “That’s what I needed.”

That’s what I needed? I’m NOT done? What?!?

So, as far as I can count, three times last week I chose to do something healthy rather than the opposite, I actually did my own cardio session on our treadmill Sunday afternoon, and when walking my dog Saturday morning, I ran the entire time, stopping only once.  I DON’T KNOW ME ANYMORE!

I’m forty-eight years old and suddenly I’m choosing to run in heels, walk the stairs and use a treadmill we’ve had in the utility room for almost six years.  My body feels like it needs to be worked occasionally, and – wait for it – – – I can actually feel some sort of shape to my biceps. And calves, and thighs. Ha!

Maybe I don’t know myself anymore, but it’s time to get acquainted. I’m feeling better and am actually NOT dreading my workout today. Maybe I’m dreaming, but I think this could be a sign of progress?



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