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Category: Relationships

The Smallest of things: Telomeres

Posted on February 7, 2021March 20, 2023 by Red Dirt Kelly

Those things are found in the tiniest of choices of every moment of every day with the person you love within a community that’s supportive. True story: virtual war on the battlefield can affect you in many of the same ways relational war in your home can.

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Ten Big Truths for Every Committed Couple

Posted on February 12, 2015November 10, 2022 by Red Dirt Kelly

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and marital researcher for almost 15 years, I’ve come to some big picture conclusions about relationships.  I call them “Big Truths” and penned them on Facebook for my friends and family.  I’ve decided to post them here as well, in case they might be of some support to…

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Navigating the Baumstamm Sagen Challenge: A Beginning Metaphor for Newlyweds and Their Wedding Party

Posted on May 15, 2013July 28, 2020 by Red Dirt Kelly

The pastor explained that the Truce Bell was going to be in the center of their house. They were to ring it if they got in an argument and needed to regroup.

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Healing my Secondary Friend-Drama-Trauma by Canning Peach Preserves

Posted on September 1, 2012August 3, 2019 by Red Dirt Kelly

I was sick of affairs. I hated that couples had to experience them. I hated that I knew all the steps every couple would have to take yet it was brand new and horrible to every single one of them.

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Adolescent Relationship Skills on a Historical Handcart Trek

Posted on August 18, 2012January 15, 2013 by Red Dirt Kelly

by Kelly Roberts Educational legacies and the encompassing culture School legend buzz passed down from varsity level big brothers or sisters to elementary siblings is a powerful thing.  By the time the eldest child in a family gets through their K-12 education, the rest know what to expect. And regardless if the information is exact…

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Not-So-Newlyweds: Our First Pet

Posted on May 1, 2012January 14, 2021 by Guests and Former Contributors

In all fairness to the fish lovers out there, Lola is not our first pet. However, in my husband’s classification system, a “pet” has four legs and fur. So Lola, our cat of two months, is the first to fit the bill. I’ve never been a cat person, but when I saw this picture in…

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Young Oklahomans Speak: How Do You Decide The Appropriate Age For Marriage?

Posted on April 18, 2012October 27, 2022 by Red Dirt Kelly

 Most of the time, you’ll find first person commentary on the Red Dirt Chronicles.  Today, however, I’m going to share with you a “third person” report in full because it explores a specific question directly related to a cause for higher divorce:  That is, marrying at younger ages than the general national average. In Oklahoma,…

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Diagnosing Your Own “Communication Breakdown”

Posted on April 3, 2012April 3, 2012 by Red Dirt Kelly

In 1970, I began kindergarten in a small town in mid-southwest Oklahoma.  At the same time I was learning letters and running around in the aisle to avoid the swinging ping-pong paddle when our teacher got mad, Led Zeppelin released their now-classic hit, “Communication Breakdown.”  One of the more compelling lines in that song is:…

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Not-So-Newlyweds: The Life of a Commuter

Posted on March 27, 2012March 28, 2012 by Guests and Former Contributors

  As mentioned before in this series, my husband is a commuter. When we were both offered jobs the same week in towns an hour apart, we couldn’t pass up the opportunities before us. So, Luke said he was willing to drive, and we live in the town where my job is. I am extremely…

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The Sock Contract

Posted on March 21, 2012July 25, 2022 by Red Dirt Kelly

Tyler Garcia had been gently occupying the edges of my youngest daughter’s friendship circle for quite some time before he asked her out on a date.  Evidently, he had been working up his nerve for a while.  I knew after the first date, however, that this young man was a possible candidate for a longer…

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Is “Falling Out of Love” The Deathblow to Your Marriage?

Posted on March 13, 2012March 9, 2023 by Red Dirt Kelly

In some ways, it seemed that the conclusion of that particular interview series was this: You can get through a lot of problems in a marriage, but if one of the spouses declares they are no longer in love, it’s over.

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“It” Isn’t “What It Is.” “It” Is What You Think, Feel and Do.

Posted on March 12, 2012March 13, 2012 by Red Dirt Kelly

A human being can attach a reason to anything. For example, I could have attached the reason for writing this post to the fact that I’ve now spotted at least seven different varieties of sprouts emerging in my garden. But I won’t. Rather, I’ve decided to attach a reason to this, my 887thth post published…

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The Tale of Two Gingers and Two Frenchmen: Semantics and Secondary Growth

Posted on March 11, 2012March 12, 2012 by Red Dirt Kelly

From the back of the line inside a trendy, suburban Starbucks, I had a vantage point to observe the scene and plenty of time to do it. A young couple stood face to face in front of me. His cream colored sweater emitted the scent of a spicy cologne. Her soft, strawberry-blond curls were tousled…

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Do People Make Mistakes or Do Mistakes Make People?

Posted on March 1, 2012March 3, 2012 by kendycox

“He’s such a jerk. He had a new girlfriend within a month of breaking up with my friend.” “OMG. Clearly she has no morals.” “I can’t believe someone would throw a fit like that. She’s crazy!” Admit it. You’ve made a similar statement at some point in your life, perhaps even recently. I don’t have…

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Not-So-Newlyweds: Couldn’t See the Mountains for the Snowflakes

Posted on February 23, 2012February 24, 2012 by Guests and Former Contributors

Since I write this series of posts called “The Not-So-Newlyweds Adventures,” one might assume I lead an adventurous life. While I am committed to finding/making adventure in the most ordinary of circumstances, lately Luke and I have felt like we are in a rut. A boredom rut. We are young and don’t have kids, yet…

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Losing Two: Kim Tiderman’s Story

Posted on February 21, 2012December 17, 2022 by Red Dirt Kelly

I wrestled with whether or not to write this particular post. The only reason I’ve moved forward, I’ve decided, is because the Red Dirt Chronicles community is so much larger than any one of our contributors’ individual circle of acquaintances. Therefore I thought this post and video could be helpful to someone, somewhere. Four years…

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On Marriage – by Alice Woodrome

Posted on February 15, 2012February 16, 2012 by Red Dirt Kelly

Editor’s Note:  As we wrap up our week of relationship posts, I thought it might be appropriate to share an essay by someone who is past her fortieth wedding anniversary.  Someone who self-describes her marriage much like a dear researcher I know who says, “I’ve been married to seven different men over my lifetime, and…

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How Shall I Love Thee? By Standing On My Desk.

Posted on February 14, 2012August 3, 2019 by Red Dirt Kelly

Have you ever had the privilege of watching “The Dead Poet’s Society?”  Of course, for someone who loves writing, literature, teaching and academia – well, let’s just say it’s a movie I can appreciate.  However, “The Dead Poet’s Society” has themes that numerous people can appreciate for an infinite number of reasons.  In a way,…

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To the Father of Hannah, Who Posted the FB Note: “To My Parents”

Posted on February 10, 2012February 11, 2012 by Red Dirt Kelly

Last night an acquaintance of mine posted this video on his Facebook page.  He had retrieved it from Reddit and was heralding the dad’s actions.  Then another acquaintance of mine chimed in and sent a rally cry through her post in favor of the dad as well. Then I watched that video which was cheered…

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Who Are Your Sweethearts?

Posted on February 9, 2012February 10, 2012 by Southwest Sara

  I Corinthians 13: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, 5 does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears…

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