Category Archives: Humor

Will Roberts Humor Posts

Motivational Speaker Heads to Oklahoma to Talk to CareerTech Teachers about Simple Sense

Well this week I visited the home state of my hero Will Rogers, Oklahoma. I was there doing a little speaking to folks about my take on common sense. You know that thing that everyone used to have but now only our grandmas and grandpas have.  And because common sense isn’t so common anymore, I’ve decided to repackage it and make it applicable to our modern Internet-driven age as Simple Sense. It’s pretty bad when you have to simplify something that is based on common sense.

Anyhow, the folks at Oklahoma Department of CareerTech and the teachers of Oklahoma got a dose of my Simple Sense, which has the power, if applied, to relieve-stress, increase-success, and improve-productivity, without any of the nasty side effects.

Now as students everywhere would be thrilled to hear, even teachers need a little schooling sometimes. These Oklahoma folks are spending the week talking about and getting tips on how to educate the Generation NEXT (you know, those who have never heard of a phone that plugs into a wall).  For this generation, short of twitter feeding them and serving up 5 hour energy drinks to keep them awake, you might have to pull a big stunt where you jump off of something and hurt yourself, jackass-style.

Outside the classroom, I noticed that things have changed with entertainment as well.  Every night that I look out into the house of the theater I work in, I see 2000 people sitting comfortably in their seats watching a show, but there are more than a handful, of all ages, that are texting, facebooking, taking pictures and sometimes I even see folks talking on their phones.  And this is all happening in a seat that costs $150.  My only guess is that someone else must have bought that seat for them!

When in Oklahoma, I said, “If a cat can lick its hind legs and get 3 million hits in the first 3 minutes, then the way we entertain and educate has to change.”  The good thing is that after my little talk with the Oklahoma teachers they got it, then again Oklahoma is home of the pioneer.

“In this modern day and age America`s newest slogan is: Mom, apple pie and high-speed Internet. They say you can live two weeks without food, a day or so without water but take someone`s smart phone away, and that person won`t last five minutes.”

– Will Roberts 

Is your kid playing video games OR being trained to do Drone strikes?

I have to tell you that this week’s comments are going to be somewhat vague, secretive. This week I am talking about drones. See, it looks like because we have increased drone strikes so much that the need for drone pilots has tripled. Oh I know what you’re thinking; they call them drones because no one flies them. So what’s the deal? Ok, here’s the top secret part. It’s really just a video game and maybe, just maybe our government is already in the process of training … Kids, Game Cube, Playstation. When I was younger I was really good at the space games, and if we would have had an alien invasion, I would have made Luke Skywalker look silly. I was also good at Street Fighter and the combat games… Maybe Wii and the Cube, or whatever’s out there is really just setting the youth of tomorrow on a flight plan of weapon system video games, at least until they figure out how to use all robots. We can blame people if they strike the wrong target, with robots…

My plan: put world leaders behind the controls of the game Street Fighter.., USA against Iran, or China. We’d whoop their butts …Only thing is we may have to barrow a quarter from China to play the game …I’m

Will Roberts

Shut Down Washington for a Month, It Might Wipe Out National Debt!

Well, my comments today I am going to try to keep short; I guess you could say I am going to CUT them short to try to help our politicians with the budget cuts. See, the Democrats are trying to cut enough to make the Republicans happy, so they can all work together. I mean literally WORK together. If they don`t get this all worked out by beginning of next week, it may just cause a government shut down… Meaning, these politicians on Capitol Hill would just stop coming to work “cause we ran out of funds.” Let me run that by you all again… Politicians would not work after next week.

Now, I don`t know about you folks, but does anyone here think politicians work anyway and besides, I can`t think of a better way of helping this country than to get politicians out of Washington for a while. As a matter of fact, that might just be the best budget cut of all time; send them all on a LONG fishing trip and let them all know that we are not paying government employees` vacation pay this year; we had to cut that short. Boy, if we did that we`d be able to pay off the national debt in a month. Plus, maybe if we did that it would get everyone out of our President`s hair, and he might be able to get some real work done.

I`m also trying to see if we can see about getting a little extra daylight savings taken off this time around, maybe we could save it and put a little of it on the budget.

The other issue I have with this is… Why would you get a bunch of fat cat politicians, who are mostly rich, to work out what we need right now in the way of a budget. If you want a realistic budget plan, give the job to a single mother, out of work, with kids. THAT`LL be a realistic plan to work off. Having our politicians create this budget plan is like letting the Dem`s and Rep`s take America on a shopping spree, only they shop at the dollar store and all we can afford is the dime store. They just don`t buy the same toilet paper as we do; theirs is softer and each sheet is individually made.

Well, I think I went on a little too long, so you all get an IOU from me.

Your friend

Will Roberts