Tall Tales by Pistol Pete: “Studying Bed Bugs”

An early color photograph of Pistol Pete on his front porch. Photo courtesy of: http://www.eatonhome.org/

A few “Truthful Pete Says” articles were published in the Perkins Journal around 1950 featuring the tall tales of Pistol Pete Eaton.  We opened this series with his “Toad and Snake” tale, and thought it was about time to grace your literary sense with this masterpiece. Enjoy!

Studying Bed Bugs

While reading the paper the other day I came across an item that said there was a man who had made enough money just studying bugs that he could afford a clean shirt every day and four pairs of socks and could drink most any brand of liquor that he wanted.  I took this paper down to Fred and asked him about it and he said sure was a fact, many men like that made money without working just like fellers working on government jobs and the Triple-A fellers, so he guessed playing with bugs was as useful as many things.  He said it was called Entomology.  I tried to say entomology, but nearly lost my chaw of tobacco and since I was low on money and couldn’t afford another chew I didn’t try and say it again.  But then and there I made up my mind to study bugs.  I took off my shirt and didn’t find nothing new so after thinking a while I started up for Stillwater.

I got me a room at a high class joint and decided to take a bath before retiring.  The porter brought in a big tub of hot water, so I jumped in, jumped back out, dried off on my handkerchief, combed my hair, cleaned out the comb and throwd the hair in the wash tub, blew out the candle and put some matches beside it.  I hardly laid down when I felt something crawling around.  I jumped up, lit a match real quick and caught a mess of bed bugs, red handed.  I threw them in the tub and in went the burnt match sticks.  After many bed bug expeditions, I finally dropped off to sleep, but awoke to the sound of beautiful music and song, much like a choir.  Upon investigating, I found the sound came up from the tub, and there all those bed bugs, had formed rafts from the used match sticks, they made hair-strung harps and were sitting floating in the middle of the tub, singing, My Bonnie, and Pull for the Shore Sailor.  Taking my bottle I spilled a few drops in the tub and shortly arose the harmony of Sweet Adeline.

With no further ado I swore off studying bugs for I find they are much like a politician, suckling from the people.

Originally published August 10, 1950

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Meanwhile Back at The Ranch: Life is TWO Good

If you asked me if I liked even or odd numbers, I would say “odd.”  There is something about the numbers one, three, and five that intrigue me.  You would never know this fact based on what’s going on out here at the ranch.

Cats: When we moved to the country in 2004 we brought along our two cats.  Of course, back then we were “city” people, and I won’t even begin to tell you the exorbitant amount of money that was spent on each of them.  A third cat eventually joined the group but died of an unknown illness.  Really, I insisted on an autopsy…of a cat…and the findings were indeterminate.  We were left with two.

Horses: Our Mustang, Jet, came to live with us because our neighbors had one too many horses.  We were clueless new horse owners, but our friends are very experienced and have followed through on their promise to guide us in the right direction.  “The right direction” included buying a horse friend for Jet.  Roxy came to live with us just a few months after Jet’s arrival.  It was great fun watching them get to know each other while they lived in the midst of all the goats.

Cats….again: Last summer my husband brought home two three week old kittens who had lost their mother.  He claimed we needed barn cats.  Here’s a little secret….we didn’t have a barn.  We nursed them along and let them stay in the garage with a heat lamp during this cold winter.  They are our outside cats.  They enjoy bird watching and hopping in my car when I am late for work. Continue reading Meanwhile Back at The Ranch: Life is TWO Good

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Silent Sunday?: Vroom, Vroom! Images by George Thomas

1957 Chevy Nomad - photo by George Thomas. All images in this post are copyrighted by the photographer and are not to be used without his express permission.

I love it when one photographer mentions another, and they in turn mention another, and so on.  That’s the beauty of Oklahoma.  Talented people, willing to share the love.  That’s how we found our photographer for this week.  George Thomas is a resident of Stillwater and was referred to us by Michael Stano, our featured artist last week.  George spent a good deal of his life right in the heart of the automotive area of the U.S., then came to Oklahoma with that experience to share.  And, to love through his lens…at car shows.  This week, we’ll be featuring photos from his Flickr account taken at the Perkins Car Show in 2010, and the Stillwater Elks Car Show in 2009.  However, he has many more and we encourage you to visit his site to view more of his work.  This particular selection is ONLY cars…but his tastes and shots include a wide range of interests.  Have a great Silent Sunday, and we hope you find yourself behind the mental wheel of some of these absolutely beautiful specimens! Continue reading Silent Sunday?: Vroom, Vroom! Images by George Thomas

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Hey, HEY, You, YOU, Get Off of my Tree!

There are two behaviors that get under my skin more than most.  The first is the act of someone harming people less able than themselves.  This action could be the result of power differentials in size, age, power, social status, mental capacity, etc.  The second? Those who clearly know the right or better thing to do, but ignore it at the expense of all those around them.  This essay is about both issues and I’m warning you right now: I’m angry.

The scene? A beautiful afternoon in Oklahoma:  hardly any wind, a temperature in the high 50s, the air is clear, gray and cool and wherever you look in nature, the onset of Spring is apparent.

I had worked most of the night before, and gotten up early this particular morning in order to complete enough of my workload to leave work just a bit early.  I was on a mission, and had racked up enough miles on my keyboard writing reports and grading to feel good about leaving campus.  In fact, my mood was especially fine.   Why?  Because I was getting ready to take short road trip through the Oklahoma countryside and, quite frankly, there aren’t too many more activities that ease my mind as much as these drives.

My destination was a sheep farm south of Tryon, Oklahoma and I was driving south on highway 177, listening to Jesca Hoop.  I could write chapters on Jesca Hoop’s creative take on music, but not today.  The opening lyrics to “Whispering Light” were belting out at a fairly strong decibel level:

“As we walk the road, as far as the road goes…
And we try to dodge the rock the valley throws.
Revealer…caught a fever…we all, have a sink-ing stone..”

Okay.  I’ll write just a few sentences.  The opportunity might not come again.  If you’ve not had a chance to check out her music, I would encourager you who love singer-songwriters to do so.  I think her, “Love is All We Have” she wrote about the Katrina Hurricane got me permanently hooked on her haunting style and voice.  And spirit.  Here is a video of that particular song she’s singing in New Orleans.  You can see she’s clearly verclempt as she sings directly to those about whom she wrote.

I’m sharing this moment in my car with you because it sets up the juxtaposition to what happened next. Continue reading Hey, HEY, You, YOU, Get Off of my Tree!

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Barbershop Theology: Relationship before Rules – Part II

Quanah Parker "...is arguably the perfect representative of the good, bad and ugly of the treaties, tribes and tumult of America's westward expansion."

We do not become good so that God will love us.  Rather, it is the love of God that makes us good.

Quanah Parker is arguably the perfect representative of the good, bad and ugly of the treaties, tribes, and tumult of America’s westward expansion. Quanah’s story is remarkable and more particularly, his mother’s story is a plotline in many of great movie westerns. Indeed, hers is a remarkable tale as well.

Growing up in Apache, Oklahoma I had school mates who were direct descendants of the Comanche Indian chief, Quanah Parker. Parker has many descendants. He married seven times, though he never kept more than three at a time. When an Indian Agent told him that he would have to choose only one wife, Quanah replied, “You choose and you tell ‘em.” Continue reading Barbershop Theology: Relationship before Rules – Part II

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Showcasing Red Dirt culture ~ authored and managed by contributors with connections to the great state of Oklahoma.