Not-So-Newlyweds: How to Keep the “Happy” in the Holidays

Remember being a kid and the only holiday stress you had was convincing your parents you were asleep while secretly plotting your position for attempting to catch Santa swooping down your chimney (well, that, and if you’re like me, wondering whether he would come at all, given that you didn’t have that all-important brick structure in your living room)? In those days, turkey magically appeared on the table, along with pumpkin pie and that gelatinous cranberry stuff. Grandma and Grandpa, aunts, uncles, and cousins came over, and joy abounded right there in your dining room.

Then you became an adult. Maybe you got married and realized that the inner workings of such a magical day involved more than you had been led to believe. You became aware of the conspiracy to hide from children the dark side of the holidays, the one in which Grandma and Uncle So-and-So argued for half an hour about whether the turkey was really done, and you were spared from witnessing that car ride with your cousins in which they were threatened within an inch of their lives to not to torture the dog—like they did last year—or to face the direst of consequences at home. Not to mention the whole decision process of where Thanksgiving was going to be and who to spend Christmas with. (“Your family again? We always spend the holidays with your family.” Yes, that discussion). For many years, I too was protected from this less-glamorous side of the holiday season, but now, having been married for a few years, I have learned a few lessons about avoiding holiday disasters and keeping that “happily married” thing going into the New Year.

You can’t force anyone else to use a calendar. Luke’s family are big calendar users. They know their Thanksgiving plans weeks or months in advance. My family (not all, but in general) are a bit more “free-spirited” in their planning and often don’t announce holiday plans until a few days beforehand. Continue reading Not-So-Newlyweds: How to Keep the “Happy” in the Holidays

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Rejecting Chumbawamba; Accepting Adolescent Doodles

My therapy. You'll soon find out why...

I experienced two brand new phenomena on Friday, November 18th.

First, I chose to turn on “The Sports Animal” talk radio mid-morning after I heard the OSU plane crash news.  I promise you, that’s never happened before.   Although I’ve been a “victim of the environment” wherein my husband listens to sports talk radio with me in the car, and I choose not to throw a fit “because this is ridiculous and endless ranting about mindless nothingness,” I’ve never made a conscious decision to listen.

Second?  I heard grown men crying openly as they called in to “The Sports Morning” host, recounting the sadness of having two plane crashes impact the OSU Athletic Department and community within ten years.  One man couldn’t finish his comment because he was crying and simply hung up.  Responding to the following caller who was happy and excited about some other BCS Bowl possibility, the radio announcer said, “I wish I didn’t even have to work today.  This feels weird and wrong to be doing this kind of show right now.”

Let’s make that that three new experiences: At that moment, I gained respect for the announcer on Sports Talk Radio.  Continue reading Rejecting Chumbawamba; Accepting Adolescent Doodles

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Lessons Learned from Tragedy

A crying cowboy is surrounded by the faces of the ten men who died in a plane crash on January 27th, 2001 (courtesy tulsaworld.com)

Editor’s Note, 11/18/11: After the devastatingly sad plane crash last night that took the lives of Oklahoma State women’s basketball coach and assistant coach, we began to receive a great many reviews of this post (pub. 1/28/11) once again.  Our thoughts and prayers are most certainly extended to the families, team members, and Oklahoma State community for this most recent plane-related tragedy, and to those connected to the two others who died in the crash as well.  Kelly Ogle at News9 just posted a Twitter photo of the girls’ team gathered around the kneeling Cowboy memorial, circling in prayer. You can view the photo HERE. ~ RDK

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by Rob Loeber

It is impossible to walk past the memorial and not feel…something.  Front and center inside the doors of Gallagher-Iba arena is the tribute to ten men who had their lives cut short.  A single Cowboy kneels and cries, representing the tears of a team, a university, and a state.  Looking out at that Cowboy are the smiling faces of those ten men.  It’s as if one look is at once a reminder of our grief and a lasting image of just how joyful life can be.

Thursday marked the tenth anniversary of the plane crash that claimed the lives of those ten men.  Ten years later, an unspeakable tragedy in a field in Colorado, still echoes in the hearts and minds of everyone who lives in this state.  Those associated with OSU have taken every step to ensure that no one will ever forget what happened on the night of January 27th, 2001.

Time may indeed heal all wounds, but some wounds need to be recognized and embraced for the benefit of those left behind.  This is one of those wounds, and a celebration of those men is exactly what OSU continues to bring forth a decade after their lives were ended.  The University honored those men beautifully on Wednesday night before, during, and after a game against Texas.

Continue reading Lessons Learned from Tragedy

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Comfort in Tough Times

by Alfred Lamar Jackson

Dear Readers – we’re going to have a short “A.M.” Simple Sabbath today, then perhaps another “P.M.” post.  I want to thank our first Faith author, Lamar Jackson, for one of his firsts posts that I felt might be fitting for this morning.  Thanks, Lamar… and, thank YOU for reading the RDC and being a part of our community.  As an instructor at Oklahoma State University, I’ve been thinking about my students and some of their friends who are hurting right now due to the most recent loss within the basketball team family.  And, I’ve been thinking about this: “He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.” Psalms 147:3. Yes, we’ll need the Great Physician around for a while…and I’m glad He’s here. ~ RDK

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?Definitions?

Tough Times

Let’s be real for a minute –  a tough time can come to anyone at anytime. Just because the government and media tell us that we are in a recession doesn’t mean that it has been easy for everyone to this point in time. I definitely cannot speak for everyone on this, but for those who have been affected by lack of work or losing most of their retirement money due to economic turmoil, there is probably not enough comfort to go around.

Dig In!

Well let’s get right to it. Of course it depends on your source of comfort, right? The Christian-ese answer would be throwing out the verse in Jeremiah 29:11 which says “I know the plans I have for you” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Now don’t get me wrong, that is an awesome truth from the Word and has helped many a person through tough times. God does have those plans for us, but those plans don’t happen over night as I should have figured out by now. The hardest thing to do is to see God working toward His plans when we have to go through the hard stuff such as a really terrible day, losing a job, losing a loved one or just coming up short. The great truth is that there is always hope, especially for those in Christ Jesus. God may not change your circumstances.   Or, He might change one thing and not everything else.

Take my Hand

Take My Hand

The key for the believer is faith. In your faith you will find the comfort you seek. Faith in knowing that God is there in your circumstance – walking beside you like a father walks beside his child. As I said, for me it’s the simple things that mean the most to me. I love picturing Christ as my dad and I’m a little kid that just fell and scraped my knee. As I sit on the ground in pain and hold my knee thinking how my world has been shaken, God bends down, takes my hand, picks me up, dusts me off and looks into my eyes with love and says “I’m right here.”

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”
– Isaiah 41:13

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On the Horizon: Prisons and Drugs

About 80 percent of prison inmates are there because of a drug conviction or crimes fueled by a drug dependency. I am not one to blame drug dependency or my love of greasy Mexican food on anything more than the lack of self control. I know breaking a drug addiction is difficult, but many people have kicked the habit. So while I am in the no excuses camp, I do believe state prisons are an awfully expensive solution to solve the state’s drug abuse problem. To learn more about the effects of cocaine the body, you may read online articles about cocaine half-life.

My hat is off to Oklahoma’s Speaker of the House Kris Steele who led the passage of the some of the first alternative sentencing laws despite lots of pressure from within his own party not to. A landmark corrections bill, dealing with nonviolent offenders and intended to relieve prison overcrowding, took effect this month. HB 2131, the first significant piece of legislation favoring alternative sentences for nonviolent offenders, expands both the use of community sentencing programs and the electronic monitoring of low-risk, nonviolent inmates.

In this week’s video blog, I introduce you to a guy our tax dollars are paying to house until 2034…at the earliest. Vince loved his cocaine and went on a robbery spree in Tulsa a few years back. He would call a taxi, have them drive him to a Subway sandwich shop, stick his finger in his pocket and then tell the teenager behind the counter to give him all his money. Pretty stupid stuff, and leaves little doubt he must have been on drugs. No surprise he gets caught and under mandatory sentencing gets a huge sentence.

Is Vince a threat or just a person with poor judgment and a drug problem? Take a look at what he has to say and let me know what you think. I am curious if I am just a sucker. On a positive note, I’ve read that programs like inhalants rehab in Thailand have helped many people turn their lives around, which gives me hope that change is possible. If you are suffering from addiction, you can see details here for professional services.

Rob McClendon

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Showcasing Red Dirt culture ~ authored and managed by contributors with connections to the great state of Oklahoma.