Sports Nightmares: The Anti-Bucket List

Everyone has a bucket list.  You know, that list of stuff you want to do before your time is up.  For sports fans, the bucket list consists of far-fetched wishes like visiting every major league baseball stadium, attending all four tennis grand slams, or buying tickets to game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals.  Many fans enjoy immersing themselves in the excitement of the game, which is why they love tuning in to 스포츠중계. The perfect sports getaway is a possibility that exists in our dreams but usually not in our bank accounts.  You’ll often hear fans say “Wouldn’t it be awesome if…?”  They speak as if there’s some sort of magical sports genie who will one day grant all their wishes to see the biggest games and meet the biggest stars.

What isn’t talked about, are sports nightmares.  That’s right; those are the events you would never want to see.  They are the games you would consider a form of pure torture to have to sit through.  Maybe the sports genie turns out to be evil and you are subjected to some of the worst moments a fan could ever experience.  You would rather spend an entire day at the mall shopping with your wife, than be granted free tickets to any of these events.  You would volunteer to attend a wedding on a college football Saturday before you’d volunteer to watch even a minute of these competitions.

So here they are, ten of the most painful, and mind-numbingly brutal events a sports fan could ever be forced to witness.

Turn in your man card…now. (courtesy news.xinhuanet.com)

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I know these fellas can do some amazing tricks on ice, but as a dude, it’s never okay to put on spandex and glitter and be happy about it.  Start competing in regular clothes and maybe you’ll earn a shred of my respect, although even a pair of khakis or a designer suit can’t make up for all the prancing and jazz hands.   It’s embarrassing to watch a grown man wearing six pounds of makeup and a flesh colored leotard.  I don’t know how people watch this without squirming at the utter absurdity of the whole sport.  The only thing more humiliating than participating in men’s figure skating is admitting that you watch men’s figure skating.   This has to be the reason why people first started putting two TV’s in their home.

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Music From The Man Cave – Introduction and “Gamma”

"Gamma" photo from the Davey Pattison Gallery: http://www.daveypattison.com/gallery/index7.html

Several months ago I was cooking breakfast for the kids.  It was a weekday morning before school and my wife was getting ready for work.  Kind of an oddity, I suppose, around our house (my wife is a chef) but on weekdays it is either me or my son who cooks breakfast.  I suppose we cook out of necessity since one of us is usually dressed and ready before the girls make it downstairs.

Anyway, I decided to have a little breakfast cooking music and put on my vinyl copy of Thin Lizzy’s “Live and Dangerous.”  One of the finest “live” albums ever released.

Yes, I know it has studio overdubs.  I don’t care.

Soon after, my wife came downstairs, looked at me, smiled and proclaimed, “You’re such a guy.”  Reflecting on that moment gave me an idea: Music from the Man Cave.  Recommendations by a guy for other guys.  Not that girls can’t listen too….

First up (we’ll get to Thin Lizzy soon, I promise) is a blast from my past.  I acquired a cassette copy of the second album from a band called Gamma, featuring Ronnie Montrose on guitar, Davey Pattison on vocals, Denny Carmassi on drums, Glen Letsch on bass and Jim Alcivar on keyboards.  This cassette spent a lot of time in my Walkman knockoff and I rediscovered it a couple years back.  It has a terrific remake of Thunderclap Newman’s “Something In The Air” but the song that I really want to recommend is called “Voyager”.  You can buy it for .99 on iTunes, or check out the YouTube clip at the bottom of this post.

“Voyager” is an amazing song Robin Trower is still kicking himself for not writing. Continue reading Music From The Man Cave – Introduction and “Gamma”

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Yep, That Really Happened!

Those closest to me know that I could probably be the poster child for all “Type A” personalities. I am innately driven and responsible.  I also take myself a little too seriously at times. I occasionally try to be funny, with mixed results. You get the picture.

However, not everything that happens TO me is of a serious nature.  In fact, I’ve had numerous OMG! and giggle-worthy experiences in my lifetime which I think are worthy of sharing with loyal RDC readers.

Before I jump right in, let me just say that time and perspective are very powerful.  Not only were these experiences NOT funny at the time, at least one of them was downright scary.  But, today I grant permission to laugh at my misfortune!  Without further ado, here are a few of my favorite stories.

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Many moons ago, I traveled with a co-worker to Minneapolis for a conference.   Unfamiliar with the area but with some free time on our hands, we asked our concierge about the best way to get to the Mall of America and were directed to use the bus system.  I had never been on a city bus nor had I witnessed what goes on in big-city downtown areas, so I was excited for some new experiences.  Boy was I in for a new experience!

As we waited in frigid temperature, I noticed a group of individuals clustered down the block.  One man, dressed in very old and dirty clothing, looked to be “preaching” to the others while the rest were waving their arms in the air.  I heard broken phrases but otherwise paid little attention to their behavior.  A moment later, as I was telling my friend that I could no longer feel my fingers, I heard heavy footsteps coming in my direction.  I quickly realized someone was addressing me.  I turned around to face the man, who asked me for a cigarette.  I responded casually that I did not smoke and he immediately retreated.  With my encounter over, I began to make a funny comment about the odds of ME being confronted by the Minneapolis homeless.  Pretty soon, however, I heard footsteps again only this time they were moving much more quickly. Prepared to reiterate the fact that I did not possess a cigarette, I turned to see him running at full speed with his eyes locked on me.  I can only describe the next few moments as the strangest of my life – and, yes, everything happened in slow motion. Continue reading Yep, That Really Happened!

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The 2011 Imaginary Family Project – Week 13

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Note From Quentin:
The Imaginary Family Project is open to a fair amount of author freedom.  When I first began to structure the project, I thought that most writers would, as I did, just write a short 2 or 3 paragraph entry.  To my surprise, most have written much longer stories.  Our author this week has taken a new approach, presenting 3 mini-stories.  Are they about the same person?  Different people?  That’s for us readers to figure out with our own interpretation. Enjoy! Continue reading The 2011 Imaginary Family Project – Week 13

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N.U.T. #2 – I don’t text or email while driving.

Oh man have I been guilty of this one in the past, but I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf.

Several studies have attempted to compare the dangers of texting while driving with driving under the influence. One such study was conducted by Car and Driver magazine in June 2009. The study used two drivers in real cars and messured reaction-times to the onset of a light on the windshield. The study compared the reaction times and distances of the subjects while reading a text message, replying to the text message, and impaired with alcohol. The study showed that at 35 mph, reading a text message decreased the reaction time the most, 0.12 seconds for the first driver and 0.87 seconds for the second. Impaired driving at the same speed resulted in an increase of 0.01 and 0.07 seconds respectively. In terms of stopping distances for a driver going 70 mph, these times were estimated to mean:

Unimpaired: .54 seconds to brake
Legally drunk: add 4 feet
Reading e-mail: add 36 feet
Sending a text: add 70 feet

I would never get behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated, and yet, every time I read or send a text message or email while driving, I’m actually a lot more dangerous behind the wheel than if I was legally drunk. This paradox just doesn’t fly with me anymore. I’ve got to stop. Continue reading N.U.T. #2 – I don’t text or email while driving.

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