Hubby, Me & The Pioneer Woman: Our Sordid 24 Hour Triangle Issue

Five weeks ago, I passed a friend of mine in the hall.  I treasure this friend because she’s one of those laid back, Oklahoma women who looks you square in the eye when talking with you.  She rolls with the punches, she has an air of confidence and she gets cooler every year I know her.  She greeted me: “Hey, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog!  Who knows…you could be another Pioneer Woman!”

CLICK PHOTO TO VISIT THE PIONEER WOMAN BLOG

First of all, my friend just got even cooler because she had right then and there provided tangible evidence that someone other than my family members were reading our posts.  And second of all, who was the Pioneer Woman?  Two more weeks passed before I thought, “Oh yeah…I need to check out this Pioneer Woman blog.”  Or, should I have thought, “Sensation!?”  As soon as I pulled up her site late one evening I became hooked for so many reasons.  First, the Okie Factor was major.  Second, the context about which she wrote reminded me of multiple reasons I loved Oklahoma country life.  Her photography was wonderful, her food looked sinful, her children were darling, her husband was hunky and the sunsets across her pond were even redder than those I see when driving home.  Within an hour, The Pioneer Woman had wrapped her blog around my heart.

Before I closed out the site I noticed she had written a autobiographical series entitled “From Black Heels to Tractor Wheels (BHTW),” about her decision to ditch law school and marry an Oklahoma cattle rancher.  I didn’t even start those posts; I needed sleep.  Flash forward a few more weeks…

Earlier today I introduced you to my new love, the iPad.  Last night I began the BHTW series and seriously tested the battery, streaming/loading and sheer determination capacity of my new technological wonder.  I began the series at 7:45 p.m. and finished at 1:38 a.m.  I took a few breaks along the way.  At one point I cooked myself the worst dinner I’ve made in several years…but that’s a different story.  And, at several points during the evening my husband came into the living room and began talking to me.  He told me a story about his day, he asked me a few questions about something, and came in to tell me goodnight.

At no time during any of these interactions did my brain engage what he was saying.  I was thinking in my head, “Look intently into his eyes, nod and hurry him along so I can get back to the next entry in my beloved BHTW series.”  The Pioneer Woman was tightly wedged between me and my husband.  I was putting my relationship with her stories above him, and was so hooked I couldn’t even see it…I was in way too deep.  I just wanted answers to all the questions I had about “What might happen next!??” to the Pioneer Woman and her Marlboro Man.

6:04 a.m. was an unwelcome time for me this morning.  The alarm on my cell phone did its job and I took way to long to find the cancel button.  I usually get up early and blog if it’s my day to contribute.  “Tuesdays – TwosDays – Relationships…” I thought.  Meh.  I got ready for work,  ignored the post writing (read: avoided the relationships section by writing about my new iPad), had a few meetings, and took a very late lunch.  The first thing I did was call my husband:  “Hey there, I’d like to go out to dinner tonight.  Ludivine is opening and I want to eat their food.”

After he came to grips with the fact that he probably could NOT wear his khaki shorts and a sweatshirt, he agreed.  “I’ll call Rylee and tell her we’re going on a date.  And that she needs to manage dinner on her own,” he told me as he hung up.

I love my husband.  The Pioneer Woman was no longer between us.  She was somewhere in the room, but Mick and I were back to our interdependent state once again, standing side by side.  “P-Dub” (Pioneer Woman reference for herself) is no longer causing distance between us, or deafness and blindness on my part.

Okay, now for the serious stuff.  Triangles are tricky and very powerful dynamics.  They basically exist when something comes between, or diverts, a healthy relationship between two people.  The “third party” can be a person (any person – young or old), a thing…oh, say…like a blog, a substance being abused (drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling, eating, etc.) or even something that might normally seem healthy – like a work out regimen.  If you can see three elements in your relationship, and in general two of them are close, two of them are distant, and two of them are conflicted, then you’re probably in a triangle.

This is my triangle I drew just for you. Don't you love my squiggly "conflict" lines?!

So my thought for you today is to examine the close relationships in your life and see if there’s extra baggage in your important dyads (two person relationships) that needs to be trimmed.  If you find some, take that baggage and put it where it belongs.  We keep real luggage on the top shelf of our closet.  I put my marital baggage back at this address where it belongs: @   http://thepioneerwoman.com/

and…I’ll visit when I can.  But if Mick asks me a question, I’ll put my new iPad screen on blank and really listen.  He deserves it, and I’m pretty sure P-Dub wouldn’t want it any other way.

Good luck!

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Okies in Ecuador: “It’s a Wrap.”

You might have noticed that when visiting the RDC Travel page, there is a photo at the bottom referencing a series called “Okies in Ecuador.”  This blog created for the NewsOK Travel section was written and produced by my brother, Quentin Bomgardner, and illustrated with photos by he and my two daughters, Rachel and Rylee Roberts.

The format of the NewsOK site isn’t conducive to easy navigation.  Therefore, “Q” created a web page where you can now begin on Day 1, travel with them through the end of their journey on Day 14, plus review a few extra photograph collections and sound file entries covering their experiences.

As a mother of the girls who traveled, I enjoyed reviewing all this work because I’ll never get that kind of detail in the living room at night…and the girls are pretty decent about sharing stories.  As a sister, I was excited for the girls to take their first big excursion away from home with their uncle.  And as a reader, I felt like I got a very good view of a place I’ve never visited.  An excellent view.  Now I might want to go myself!

Thanks Quentin, Rachel and Rylee…loved the journey, and love that I can revisit through this series any time I wish. 

Red Dirt Kelly


Click the banana photo to visit an indexed page where you can start their journey from the beginning.

Bananas grow UP - Ecuador, 2010. Photo by Rylee Roberts.

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Hello, handsome. Thanks for protecting my peepers.

Before I met you I would keep a bottle of TheraTears on my desk and nightstand.  Dry, bloodshot eyes were a daily reminder that too much of my work was done while staring at a less-than-optimal screen.

Before I met you, I could usually read only one 20-35 page .pdf formatted research article online.  The remainder of my homework or files for my own research I would have to print off, killing forests.  And yes, I meant to type the plural form of that word.  Today I read 92 pages in a row…not one eye drop and I also take care of my eyesight with a compassionate care environment service online too.

Before I met you, I would have to review information online using my whopping 6.7 pound Dell Latitude laptop.  I still love you dear laptop, but only for working, processing thousands of words or hundreds of thousands of variables.  I have another love for surfing and e-reading now. For complex technical tasks, engineering laptops provide the perfect balance of speed and reliability.

And before I met you, I was still just a wee bit Apple shy.  I was still walking on the proverbial format fence wondering which product was my favorite for writing down my daily thoughts in Red Dirt Chronicles blog.

Not any more.  You, my dear iPad, have changed all that.  And for having you in my life now – I am very, very grateful.

iKisses and iHugs,

Red Dirt Kelly

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Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch: LMIRL — Let’s Meet In Real Life

Jet
Jet is a rescued Mustang. She got her name because she was a "frequent flyer" in the Mustang adoption circuit.

When did it happen?  When did I become so dependent on technology?  Even in the country, we are not without “city luxuries” like Internet, satellite radio and a DVR.  However, the other day I had to turn in my work computer for an upgraded version.  I was without the machine in my classroom for only a couple of hours, but I noticed a shift in the awareness of my surroundings.  I should have taken that as a sign of how my evening at home would go.

No computer.  Phone turned off.

It was a beautiful evening in the country.  As soon as I entered their pasture, the animal migration began: the goats head to the shed, but the horses came to me.  After all, I have the carrots and they know that.   After feeding everyone, I took advantage of Jet’s lingering.  She let me groom her from mane to tail while Roxy stood by and simply watched.  I was able to brush her thick black mane; it’s so healthy now that she is living with us and away from the horses that used to tear out chunks with their teeth.   As I ran my hands down her leg to remove the fly bots that had accumulated in just one week, I noticed crimson highlights right above her hoof.  Wow.  My horse is not just brown.  She is brown, crimson, auburn, and black.  She is gorgeous.  Her Mustang brand reminds me that she was captured and taken from her home, but I take her head dropped near my chest to mean that it’s okay.  She let me run my hands over her eyes and scratch under her halter, and for good measure I kiss the soft flesh of her muzzle.  This is it.  This is what life is all about.

I’m sure none of this would have happened with a phone in one hand.

Roxy
Roxy is a beautiful gaited saddle horse. She was purchased so my husband would have a horse to ride. She also holds the title of "Alpha Mare" in our small goat/ horse herd.

I wanted to write about it.  No computer.  I scrounged up a legal pad and took some notes.  This is hard without my computer; the task can wait.  I checked my email from my phone and remembered I had a DVR’d television show to watch.  Technology habits sure die hard, don’t they?

Somebody, please, don’t let me forget what it’s like to live life with my hands on something other than a keyboard.

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Silent Sundays: 10/3/2010

"Chickasaw Renaissance" by Phillip Carroll Morgan. Introduction by Bill Anoatubby, Chickasaw Nation Governor. This book was one of three titles revealed at the Chickasaw Annual Meeting and Festival held Oct. 2nd. Click photo for more information.
Saturday morning, October 2nd: Alice Woodrome took this photo of a mother wolf spider with hundreds of new babies on her back. Alice is a gardner in NW OKC. The wolf spider resides there with her other flowers.

This OSU Cowboy fan didn't give her arm for a win, she used her leg! Caught up in the hoopla of the crazy OSU v A&M Thursday night contest, this good natured fan took her prosthetic leg off and waved it around, cheering all the while. You gotta love the football fans in Oklahoma! - Photo by Jani Hays.
The weather broke in Oklahoma, and Wednesday morning, Sept. 29th I drove by pasture land after pasture land, all with farm ponds and fog rising from the surface. Beautiful! - Photo by Red Dirt Kelly
That same night, we were treated to another Big Sky show. Hey, Fall, welcome to Oklahoma! - Photo by Red Dirt Kelly
You didn't think we were gonna finish Silent Sunday without a Red River Rivalry shot, did you? Click photo to visit CrimsonAndCream blog for OU/Texas slideshow...

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Showcasing Red Dirt culture ~ authored and managed by contributors with connections to the great state of Oklahoma.