Value Times Three: Check out Taylor’s Dining Room on the OSU Campus

doctor shopping for soma prescription

For a little over six years now, I’ve walked the halls of the College of Human Environmental Sciences (CHES) at Oklahoma State University (OSU).  One of the things I’ve never worried about is where I might eat my lunch in case I’m in too much of a rush to pack myself a meal.  There are two restaurants in the adjoining building to ours, CHES-West.  One of them is a little “faster food” style cafe’ serving both breakfast and lunch.  The other is Taylor’s Dining Room, the “fine dining Lab for students in the School of Hotel and Restaurant Administration.”

I eat there about two or three times each semester.  Every time I go, these thoughts come to my head:  1) The food is a good value compared to other bistro-style restaurants in larger city areas; 2) I’m contributing to the students’ education by eating there and interacting with the staff; and, 3) I get more than a meal when I go.  I get a smile on my face; it’s a treat to be welcomed, seated, served and checked on by students in training within the 8th ranked hospitality and tourism programs in the world.

I visited Taylor’s about a week ago and was glad to see they continue to revamp the menu as are newly inspired from students, faculty and visiting chef’s from around the globe.  In the mood to welcome autumn, I ordered the Arugula, Pear & Manchego Salad ($9) and a glass of tea.

The salad was complimented by their bread basket.  They’ve changed their daily bread service since last year; the added bread sticks with caraway was a nice modification.

Like many salads I’ve had lately, I had to pick out two or three wilted leaves.  Other than that, the dish was excellent.  I especially liked their choice of the buttery Manchego cheese as a compliment to the sweeter poached pears.

If you have a chance to visit Stillwater and want a good meal for a good price, I suggest Taylor’s.  It’s a chance to give, get and eat.  Bon appetit!

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Seeking H-E-L-P Can Be H-E-Double Toothpicks

A small farm town is great for overhearing comments like these:  “Oh, he has heart trouble?  Better not let him out on that tractor during harvest.  You won’t know if he’s had any chest pains until he gets every last acre of that crop in!”  Then everyone around bursts into laughter, nods their heads, and asks to hear more about Farmer Brown’s cardiac condition. However…

It’s a human law of nature, isn’t it?  We laugh the loudest at that which rings the greatest truths?

Over the last ten years or so, I’ve studied one area about relationships more than others, and it’s because I know so many “Farmer Browns” in Oklahoma:  the phenomenon of seeking help.  Some of the reasons I began researching this topic are personal.  My own husband and I struggled with seeking outside assistance when we were having marital issues around the third year of our marriage.  When we finally DID access couples therapy services, however, it only took two sessions for both of us to realize that our marriage was much greater than the two of us sitting in the room.  It took longer for our emotions toward each other to repair, but once we made the decision to stick out our relationship we looked at all our other decisions in a very different way.  And, recently celebrating our 25th anniversary felt really great.

Another reason I’ve spent so much time researching this topic is because it’s such a pervasive problem.  I’ve only found one paper over the years by an anthropologist who wrote specifically about Oklahomans’ inability to ask for help when they need it, but through my own research and that of my colleagues, I’ve found out a little more.  Here’s what I know about folks in Red Dirt Country (AND for the rest of the US…I have national data sets as well).:

1) It’s easier for people to tell their friends to go get help than it is for them to go themselves.  A full 95% of respondents from one of my surveys stated that they would “encourage their friends to seek premarital or marital education,” or “therapy.”  However, around 60-70% of most populations said they thought they might try it themselves – many of that population responded “only when it’s the last option.”  It’s easier to suggest to others than take our own advice, it seems.

2) The number one constraint to seeking marital education OR therapy services among Oklahomans in 2003 was the concern about “getting the other person in the relationship to agree to the idea.”  In other words, it wasn’t the individual’s attitude or belief about seeking help as much as it was their fear or anxiety about bringing up the discussion, or anticipating how their partner might respond to their request.  So it seems that sometimes what we think about others, or how they might react, is even more powerful than what we believe for ourselves.

3) On a better note, however, a greater majority of people were more willing to get couples counseling, attend marriage or relationship education, or other type of couples service (retreat, take an inventory, etc), than they were to seek individual help or education for themselves.  So, they are thinking of others or their relationship over themselves, for the most part.  This is important information – knowing that someone might make a decision for the sake of another over themselves is valuable when we’re talking about relationships.


These are just a few tiny bits of data out of a very large amount of information but I think they might be useful for a couple of reasons.  First of all, what this information tells us is that it’s NORMAL to feel conflicted, worried or resistant to opening up our relationship to outside help.  Some even feel that going to an educational workshop over relationship skills will “make things worse;” that if they just ignore the issue and keep the boat steady, maybe things will blow over.

Others feel ill-equipped to know where to begin when asking their partner to go with them.  This is NORMAL too!  If you’ve been arguing or the two of you readily step into “blaming mode,” then it’s easy to see how something well-intended could turn sour quickly.  The very best way to bring up a topic like this is to make sure to “own your own wishes” (say, “I’d really like for you to go with me.  Here’s what we can learn.  Would you please think about this?”)  and resist the urge to blame or to criticize, or make things personal (for example, “Maybe this will keep us from arguing about the dogs.”)  If you talk about what you can GAIN, and avoid bringing up what is WRONG, chances are the conversation will go better.

Telling your partner about skills the two of you can learn is a much clearer message than telling them what’s been wrong.  They already know what’s gone wrong; reiteration isn’t needed in a committed relationship.  You know each other very well.

Finally, if you happen to be the one who is thinking about inviting your partner to begin therapy or attend a relationship education workshop, having the information handy is also important.  Don’t know where to start?  I’ve got four links for you I’ll share at the end of this article – you can look up the information right now!

So, what have we learned?  Seeking help is hard.  People are scared to ask their partners to go with them.  People are willing to do something for others over themselves.  How does this work together?  Well, the fact that “people are willing to do something for others” actually increases the chances that your partner will accept an invitation from you.  Now, all you have to do is ask.  Good luck…and let us know if you need extra support.

Here are those links I mention:

For marriage or relationships education for all adults, ages 18 or over:  http://www.okmarriage.org/

For a national resource, check out this directory of programs: http://www.smartmarriages.com/app/Directory.BrowsePrograms

To find a couple or relationship therapist:  http://www.therapistlocator.net/index.asp

Or, to look into an online community about couples, go here: http://twoofus.org/index.aspx

For more information about help seeking or for citations to the research used in this article, please contact:  kelly.m.roberts@okstate.edu

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We have “Favorite Things” too…

One of the iconic segments for Oprah’s show is her Favorite Things series – especially her Christmas show where the audience receives one of every product she reveals.  Bloggers sometimes highlight various products because they’ve been asked to place products on their site for a particular promotion, or for a payment of some sort.  Shows on T.V. highlight various products that work well and sometimes the public isn’t privy to whether or not it’s a “planted advertisement,” or if the product feature is a genuine information sharing gesture.

So, to clear this one up from the beginning, there is NO product support here.  Our “Favorite Things” will have an indy bent.  We’ll talk about a product or idea because we like it, and that’s the only reason.

I’m sharing one of my “favorite things” with you today because it took me a few years to finally hit a product that worked well for my coffee service.  I used to take my favorite coffee beans, grind them daily, then add a bit of “Sugar in the Raw” turbinado sugar plus a little half-n-half once the coffee was brewed.

However, about a year ago I found these Roland imported demerara sugar rough cut cubes.  I love them because sometimes I just want a hint of sweetness, and other times I want a bit more; there are various sizes and I really like that about them.  I don’t have to fill my sugar bowl with the granular product only to wipe up spills, and these cubes lend a foodie flair when I have company that the loose sugar didn’t have.  I purchased my box from the International Pantry gourmet shop in Norman, Oklahoma with a gift certificate given to me by my brother.

The International Pantry has been around since 1978 and is one of the few shops that feature a full line of Le Crueset cookware.  I love the orange color and have plans to start trading out my 25 year-old cookware soon for a piece at a time.

What’s the difference between turbinado and demerara sugar?  All brown sugars have some degree of molasses added to them, but the demerara is just a bit lighter, and is said to have less of a “honey” finish to it than the turbinado.

So, if you’re looking for a little something special to dress up your coffee service and love the warm flavor of demerara sugar over white sugar like I do, you might give these sugar cubes a try. I got mine for about $5.95 in the store, but you can also order them on Amazon for $4.50 plus shipping. My supply looks like it may last right at one year.

I love them!, Red Dirt Kelly


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Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch: It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere

 

big goat
One of our regulars.

 

It’s the end of a long work week, but my work day is not over.

At 5 o’clock I’m the most popular (and only) person working at The Goat Shed.  The thirteen patrons belly up to the bar consisting of three feed troughs.  It’s not peanuts and beer….it’s water and sweet feed….but these customers know what they want, and part of what they want is good customer service.

They have come to the right place.  Let’s get this party started.

 

Julie and the kids
We love kids at The Goat Shed.

 

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Silent Sunday: 10/17/10

 

Click photo to visit the Edmond Sun website.
Oklahoma Christian University Students experience "Out of This World" chapel service, enjoying almost a 30 minute feed from the space station. Click photo to visit the Edmond Sun website.

 

 

6-0 OSU Cowboys now "Bowl eligible." Nice photo from the Daily Oklahoman. Click photo to read post-game report.

 

 

The mystery message. Red Dirt Kelly was walking across campus on 10-12-10 and spied this lone piece of paper randomly taped to a glass door. Upon closer inspection, she noted that there was a message, and some sort of insignia. The note read: "Forever blindly ill (sic) always wait thoughts (written in "of") you keep me up late." What did it mean? Who was it from? To whom was it directed? What did the bronze/gold metallic "M" symbol mean? ... Was it YOU?"

 

 

Sometimes Red Dirt Kelly sees things that give her ideas. This image gave her the idea that the Red Dirt Chronicles needed a company truck.

 

 

 

In November, 2009, Matt Mahan, his children and his brother-in-law were out digging for flint chips in the Dewey County area when his brother-in-law called them over to a bluff area he was working on. He had found "a dead guy," that ended up being a 200+ year-old skeleton. The medical examiner told them that based upon the femur size, the man could have been 6'6" or taller, and was probably not Native American. Have you ever just been digging around in the dirt and discovered a skeleton? It's almost Halloween, so we're publishing this photo now. We need to follow-up to see if a final report was filed by that M.E., and what the conclusions were.

 

 

OU killed Iowa State. That's the whole story. Click the photo to get the perspective of an Iowa State blogger.

 

Gracie Burris, 5, gathers small pumpkins in the "Hide-a-Pumpkin" pit in Muskogee, OK. Photo by Wendy Burton of the Muskogee Phoenix.

 

 

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Showcasing Red Dirt culture ~ authored and managed by contributors with connections to the great state of Oklahoma.