New Years Resolutions And Why I Break Them

by Joey Rodman

About this time of year people start nagging each other to make resolutions and goals for the New Year.  Things to start, things to stop, things to do differently.  I have been asked a total of 45 times (at the time of writing this post) what my New Years resolution is.

My answer?  I don’t have any because I don’t like being a failure. *time passes…*

So, I’ve now asked my friends to tell me anonymously what they think my resolution should be and here are their replies:  Of the 13 friends who responded…

8 wrote: Stop losing your cell phone.
Okay, I’ll admit it I lose my cell phone a lot. Weekly, actually, if not more often.

I don’t think it’s my fault. First of all it’s tiny.  Second, it always falls out of my pocket and gets wedged between the couch cushions and then the battery dies and I can’t find it via sound location. Third, I just don’t care enough to keep track of it. My cell phone is my only phone.

I have no landline, so most of my friends think it should be attached to my hand at all times in case they need me. I think otherwise. I get hundreds of text messages each day; most of them are useless. If you really need me, you’ll find me. Right? Right. Besides millions of people survived in the times before cell phones and I think I can do it too.

3 wrote: Quit getting hurt.
Um… so if I could stop falling down, tripping, face-planting, sliding, etc. don’t you think I would?! Okay, I probably wouldn’t. I’m a klutz; I get it.

In addition to being a klutz I’m often distracted (mostly by my cell phone, or looking for my cell phone) so I don’t pay attention to things around me. I got a pogo stick yesterday, I don’t envision this cutting down on injuries. One of my closest friends commented: “Joey, who gave you a Pogo stick and what were they thinking?!!!!” Point taken.

In 2010 I broke my foot twice, dislocated my knee, dislocated my hip, dislocated my toe repeatedly, sprained my shoulder (it’s possible!), slipped a disc, and tore my meniscus. The last injury I listed still hurts! I think if I had any control over whether or not I got hurt, I would totally exercise it. Since I don’t and I seem to get hurt just walking around minding my own business, I might as well go down in flames…on my pogo stick.

1 wrote: Write more.
This has some merit. I write a lot, however, only most of it is never seen by eyes but my own. Maybe a better resolution would be to write more things I’m willing to share with people.

1 wrote: Continue to exist.
Now, THIS is a resolution I can get behind! I probably won’t fail at this one.

I might write a bunch of fan-fic that should never have been written, or face-plant off my pogo stick, or lose my cell phone (I don’t even know where it is right now..) but I will exist while I’m doing it. Some people might say this is too easy a goal; who resolves to exist, anyway? Well, maybe people like you. You and I can continue to exist in 2011 and if we do things a little better this year…then we’ll celebrate. And if we don’t….at least we’re continuing to exist which is a worthy fight in itself.

Come exist with me. We’re gonna rock at it!





3 thoughts on “New Years Resolutions And Why I Break Them”

  1. Loved your “writing”….so DO write more and share it! As for the adorable pic….RDK is still just as cute today!

  2. I meant to put all the stars… Regardless, I loved this post. I am picturing a person utilizing their pogo stick to look for their cell phone!! Love it!!

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