Tag Archives: New Year’s Resolutions

New Years Resolutions And Why I Break Them

by Joey Rodman

About this time of year people start nagging each other to make resolutions and goals for the New Year.  Things to start, things to stop, things to do differently.  I have been asked a total of 45 times (at the time of writing this post) what my New Years resolution is.

My answer?  I don’t have any because I don’t like being a failure. *time passes…*

So, I’ve now asked my friends to tell me anonymously what they think my resolution should be and here are their replies:  Of the 13 friends who responded…

8 wrote: Stop losing your cell phone.
Okay, I’ll admit it I lose my cell phone a lot. Weekly, actually, if not more often.

I don’t think it’s my fault. First of all it’s tiny.  Second, it always falls out of my pocket and gets wedged between the couch cushions and then the battery dies and I can’t find it via sound location. Third, I just don’t care enough to keep track of it. My cell phone is my only phone.

I have no landline, so most of my friends think it should be attached to my hand at all times in case they need me. I think otherwise. I get hundreds of text messages each day; most of them are useless. If you really need me, you’ll find me. Right? Right. Besides millions of people survived in the times before cell phones and I think I can do it too.

3 wrote: Quit getting hurt.
Um… so if I could stop falling down, tripping, face-planting, sliding, etc. don’t you think I would?! Okay, I probably wouldn’t. I’m a klutz; I get it.

In addition to being a klutz I’m often distracted (mostly by my cell phone, or looking for my cell phone) so I don’t pay attention to things around me. I got a pogo stick yesterday, I don’t envision this cutting down on injuries. One of my closest friends commented: “Joey, who gave you a Pogo stick and what were they thinking?!!!!” Point taken.

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Reframing Your Problems in 2011

Nosy neighbor? Gossipy comrades?

As you prepare to enter your New Year I wonder…are there people in your life who drive you crazy? Can you count on them to continue to do or say the same ridiculous, lame or annoying things over and over?  Do they grate on your nerves so much that you go out of your way to avoid them even though you know that keeping a connection with them would be better for you or your family?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then it might be time for you to become a reframing expert this year.  The word “reframing” is used in relation to several different conceptual areas (math, problem solving, dealing with people, education, etc.).  I am specifically writing today, however, about how we see, understand, perceive and “know” people.  Human beings can really get into deep ruts with how they perceive people.  Sometimes these ruts feel or seem so deep that we give up.  We quit hoping that the “problem” person will change.  Rather, our solution is to put up with, avoid, or hurry through interactions with them.

However, reframing might be just the step stool you needed in order to get out of those ruts…and stay out. So, what are reframes?

Anthony Robbins wrote, “A signal has meaning only in the frame or context in which we perceive it. And although Tony Robbins is known for his powerful presentations on dealing with people, and implementing reframes, he wasn’t the first person to really articulate techniques for changing the games people play.  Therapists such as Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson are generally credited with defining them first when it comes to dealing with people.  Reframes are renaming, or “re-framing” ideas about people in positive ways that were generally seen as negative. When someone hears a reframe, their brain almost does a double-take.  In other words, it gives the people involved a chance to step back, take advantage of how things were shaken up, and redefine the “meaning in which we perceive” them or their behavior.  The trick is…if the problem is perceived negatively, the reframe must always be implemented with a positive approach. To reframe one negative into another does no one any good.

Here are a few examples to help you understand specifically what this might look like.  You might recognize some people in your own life, and that is good too because you can begin practicing right now!

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Hot Diggity Dog, It’s Time For Some New Year’s Resolutions

Our little Scout, at 12 weeks

I’ve never been that crazy about dogs.  But you’d never know this by listening to my parents run through the seemingly endless list of pets my brothers and I had growing up .  I don’t remember what happened to most of them, so clearly I wasn’t attached enough to have traumatic memories of their demises.  While I have an appreciation for cute little critters, for most of my life I could say that I’d never been head over heels in love with something furry (I could make a joke here about my husband’s back, but…..whoopsie, I guess I just did!).

When Jason and I decided to get a puppy together at about the time we were engaged, my “dog hating” streak ended.  Scout, a black and white Springer Spaniel, was the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen but we learned quickly how hard it is to train a puppy.  In fact, our puppy experience was more like training for the impending trials of marriage and parenthood.  We joke that our marriage preparation course was administered by a 50 pound slobbering baby.

Scout was difficult from the beginning.  He scaled the puppy gate, ate Christmas bulbs like candy, and bloodied his paws trying to claw his way out of his kennel.  But he was ours and we loved him.

We had Scout for 9 years, during which we welcomed a new home and two new babies.  He played with the kids and delighted in daily runs with Jason.  Even though he was annoying at times and added a lot of “stink” to our lives, he was a beautiful and loving dog.  When he started having seizures and eventually passed away 2 summers ago, Jason and I realized how tied he was to virtually all of our early marriage and new parent memories.

Once we got over the loss, however, we quickly began enjoying the freedom of not having a dog in the house.  If we were gone for 15 hours straight, who cares?  There were no doggy considerations or repercussions.  Frankly, it was great. Continue reading Hot Diggity Dog, It’s Time For Some New Year’s Resolutions