Livin’ On A Prayer and the Sage Advice of Garth Brooks

When I’m old and gray (ahem, grayer, that is), I hope to look back on my life and reflect on an abundance of incredible experiences and accomplishments.  I’ve prayed my way through 33 1/2 years and God has been faithful to bless me with far more than I deserve.  However, this same life has included and will include many more prayers that go unanswered, at least in the way I desire or expect.

If you’re an Okie, you probably remember a time when Garth Brooks was on everyone’s radar.  I was never a huge country music fan, but I can sing along with a few little ditties when I hear them.  One song that I remember vividly is “Unanswered Prayers.”  If you’re not familiar with the song, Garth sings about running into his old high school flame and recalls how hard he prayed for this girl to be his forever.  While he is filled with nostalgia at seeing her again, he has gained enough perspective to know that his life worked out in the best way possible despite his one-time efforts to convince God otherwise.  He goes on to express his thankfulness for the gifts in his life, including the woman who eventually stole his heart, became his wife and showed him the importance of trusting God at all times.

By the way, when I started writing this blog, I did not remember the controversy with Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood.  So do me a favor and put that bit of information aside so I don’t have to go back to the drawing board on this post, mmmkay?  Geez, what is it with people and their inability to stay faithful?  But that’s an essay for a different day.

Where was I?  Oh yes, the inspirational song.  I was touched by the song and have always admired people who are able to easily put issues and events into perspective.  I am not one of them.  I can remember many times when I didn’t get what I was clearly the most important thing I’d ever asked for in my entire life.  Time and time again, I responded with anger and disbelief.  In not so many words I said to God, “You said ‘Ask and you shall receive,’ right?  Well?????”  I shed tears over a great many “must haves” that did not become my reality…..boys, leadership positions, jobs, etc.

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Red Dirt Ramblers – Stop #2: Meet Up With Jim Fields at Dan McGuinness in Moore OR Edmond

Dan McGuinness - Opening Night, Edmond, OK. Photo from their FB site, taken about 3 months ago.

(Julie’s view) If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a part of the Red Dirt Chronicles for this short time, it’s that there is no topic or interviewee off limits.  So when Kelly mentioned wanting to investigate some of the local music talent, I knew I had the perfect person to interview: Jim Fields.  Jim is part owner of the Dan McGuinness Pub franchise in the Moore and Edmond areas and my ex-husband.  Don’t freak out.

Jim is originally from Bethany but connected with Lee Adams, owner of Adams Restaurants, while he was living in Memphis, TN.  Jim worked for T.J. Mulligan’s at an entry-level position and gradually worked his way into management. All the while he was missing his home state of Oklahoma.  It took some convincing, but Jim talked Lee into bypassing Arkansas all together, and they opened the Moore location in November 2006 and the Edmond location in September 2010.

We met up with Jim at the at the Edmond store.  He was in a meeting so we took a seat at one of the tall pub tables near the bar.  The sweetest waitress took good care of us while I tried to give Kelly a little bit of background information on the restaurants.  Jim joined us and he and Kelly talked for a while about some of the local music talent.

But here’s the best part:  Jim told me he had something that used to belong to me and he wanted to know if I recognized it.  We walked to another section of the restaurant and I spotted what he was talking about immediately.

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A Man’s Ode to Sleeping In

Inspired by a friend’s ode to his pickup truck, I decided to give an ode to something in my life that has been with me through thick and thin but that has, in fact, seen better days as of late. – M&M

Oh sleeping in… what a cruel cruel mistress you’ve been to me through the years. We’ve seen it all together, that is, as long as “all” occurred after 11 a.m.

I remember when I was just a wee lad, a school boy if you will, and my dad resorted to using a spray bottle to separate us as we lay there in my bed basking in the glory that was our time together. I may have been on time to school, but I never forgot you through the day because I knew you’d always be there for me the next morning.

In the summertime of my tween years, my parents instituted a 10 a.m. cut-off time on our blissful slumber together. I remember my mom calling from work around that time each morning to make sure I was out of bed. I must have been a bad liar or your influence on me was just too much, because she’d always know when we’d been together. Maybe she could hear it in my voice.

Either way, I’d leave you each day for a fun-filled afternoon of MTV’s beach house, little league baseball, or swimming in our above-ground pool. But then, like the bride of a soldier who awaits the return of her husband from battle, you were there waiting for me when I finally made my way back to our bed each night.

During high school, you never made me late for class, but you were the reason I rarely ate breakfast. It was you who made me forsake ironing my clothes. It was you who pushed me into the arms of hooded sweatshirts, nylon warm-up suits, and gym shorts. It was you who made me defy the normal limits of driving speed set by local authorities just to make it to class on time. And yet, I never complained because our love affair was deep and it was true.

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I Don’t Recommend Books, But If I DID… (Final Entry)

Kelly M. Roberts, MS, LMFT - Clinical Instructor, Oklahoma State University

Note – here are the links to my two former related posts: Introduction and entry number one: Two of the Big Three Basic Marital Challenges.  Follow up and entry number two: Sex and Intimacy Issues, and Developing Yourself as an Individual.

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I’ve managed three different state or national surveys asking individuals what they think the area is in which they need the most help for their relationship.  The answers?  Every single time, “Conflict Resolution” comes out as the number one response, and “Communication” comes out as number two.  Every. Single. Time.

When I talk to people about what they are thinking when they answer “Conflict Resolution,” their answers basically hone in on the first word: conflict.  They feel, sense, are engaged in, or really demonstrate (quite loudly) conflict in one way or another.  They’re not really thinking about “conflict” as a problem to be solved.  Rather, they’re thinking about the emotions, feelings and dynamics involved when conflict takes place. Is it this way for you?  How about someone you know who has talked about conflict resolution…or just conflict?  Are they thinking “find a solution,” or are they thinking, “I hate that we’re having conflict and wish it would stop or get better?”  Granted, many want solutions and sometimes they try so hard at reasoning or trying to find solutions that it creates even more conflict!  By and large, conflict feels horrible.  But it doesn’t have to be…

Let’s talk for a moment about “Communication,” the number two issue for the general population.  (Ha! I wrote “talk” about communication – smile).  How do you describe couple communication?  How do you describe GOOD and/or BAD couple communication?  Again, many if not most people initially gravitate toward what is NOT working for them when they try to communicate, as opposed to what they’d LIKE to see or be doing.  Like conflict resolution, people have emotions or feelings attached to memories or impressions of how they communicate with one another.  They want to feel good when they finish a conversation – instead of bad.

People try all sorts of things to make bad communication stop.  They avoid, they leave, they press harder, they pursue, they say the same things over with more intensity – because perhaps saying it again and harder will help?  However, much about how couples communicate is hard-wired into them from the beginning:  their personalities, their physiological or biological make-up, how they were raised and how they learned communication from their own families, etc.  So, when it comes down to it, sometimes couples are left with feelings of frustration, anger, disappointment, rejection, loneliness, invalidation, sadness or even defeat.  But they don’t have to be…

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One Voice of the Oklahoma Prairie, Cont.

The first building raised in Waukomis. The Railroad section chief lived and worked out of it in 1889.

Editor’s Note: This series began on Monday of last week.  It most likely will run for five weeks.  Please refer to this link for the introductory information and “Entry One” of “My Grandmother’s Memoirs.”  Thank you. ~ RDK

“One Spring I was at a widow woman’s house picking up apricots. She was in the tree and hung a bucket on a limb. It broke and the bucket of apricots fell on my head. Did I ever have a big gash! She told me to run home to my mama. By the time I got there my clothes were soaked with blood. I remember all the children of the neighborhood lining up across the screened-in back porch watching Mom clean me up. I had to go to the doctor at Enid for him to dress and care for it every other day.

I had the small pox vaccination at Waukomis by a Dr. Wolfe. I always imagined he looked like a wolf, but he was pretty nice. He gave me a stick of gum and a penny because I didn’t cry.

I had chicken pox in the Spring of 1930; it was near Easter.  Our class at school was having an egg hunt, so Papa took me to the principal’s office to see if I was over them enough to go to the event. I was so happy because he said I could go!

One winter we had a big snow. Papa walked ahead of us to school to make tracks so we wouldn’t have as difficult a time getting to school.  We were always thrilled when the weather was bad and didn’t have to go home for lunch! Mom would call the grocery store and the owner would prepare a good lunch for us. One of us would go pick it up; he would make pressed ham sandwiches with buns – that was really good!

We children of the neighborhood would gather in the evening by the street light, choose sides and play a game called “Trail.” One side would hide, the other hunt. We would make arrows with chalk marking the direction we were going. Then at the point we decided to hide, we would draw a circle with arrows going all directions making it more difficult to find us.

Another time I remember was my sister Catherine and brother Charles and I went to a Methodist revival. When coming home we had to go past an opera house. We were told a little man lived under it; we were always frightened to go by. We watched the building closely!  As we were walking along Catherine slipped on the ice and I fell over her, breaking my collar bone. I was crying so loudly Catherine said, “Be quiet! That little man will hear you!”  My parents were at the door to meet us when we got there. It was so painful and difficult to wear a coat that I missed several days of school after that incident.

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Showcasing Red Dirt culture ~ authored and managed by contributors with connections to the great state of Oklahoma.