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Oklahoma Horizon TV

On the Horizon: Battle Lines are Drawn

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As a person I believe we all should be respectful of one another. I know my beliefs do not align with everyone else’s, and that is alright. I have friends who have different religious backgrounds or political affiliations than I do. But we realize we have differing opinions, we can appreciate and respect others’ opinions, without fear of retaliation and that is what makes our country great.

What I have an issue with is when people with differing opinions have no respect for others or their views. What is worse is when those people or groups slander others, and their facts are skewed, made up or are simply false due to lack of knowledge. As a journalist we are constantly under pressure to fact check to get the story right. I feel if someone is going to “report” on something they should be held to the same standard.

The attack on Oklahoma hog producers by the Humane Society of the United States is a perfect example of this. They conducted one of their “undercover” missions to gather footage and information and claimed Seaboard, and other large hog operations, were conducting inhumane production practices. Their target was the use of gestation crates. In their gruesome video, HSUS claimed the sows are kept in the crates their whole lives. They went on to say that crates threaten the lives of the hogs.

Any person who has been around the livestock industry, especially hogs, will know how false these accusations are. The crates are used to protect sows from fighting. If you have been around sows you know they will fight for blood. Additionally, sows that farrow outside of crates are more likely to step on and lay on their pigs, resulting in severe injuries and death of piglets. To me that is much more inhumane.

The bottom line is if you do not know about production agriculture it is time to stop telling those who have been doing it all of their lives the “right way” to do things. Producers are tasked with the enormous responsibility with feeding and clothing the world. That responsibility will not be accomplished if everyone keeps sticking their nose in and offering their “expertise” when they are not aware of the whole situation. Are there bad apples in agriculture? Absolutely! But let’s not punish those who are doing it right.

In this week’s video blog we take a look at how the urban-rural divide affects production agriculture and what is being done to help bridge that gap.

https://www.aeisenschmidt.com/mca ~ Andy Barth

Faith

Explore the You

Buy Lyrica Without Prescription Have you ever gone exploring?     ex  plore /ik’splor/ v.  travel in or through an area in order learn about or familiarize oneself with it.

Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier He had his gun, 'ol Betsy'

I have explored the winding banks of the Washita River and Cache Creek; I have wandered down meandering cow paths and crawled through a thousand barbed-wire fences on my way to nowhere. Daniel Boone had “Tick-Licker” and Davy Crockett carried “`ol Betsy”— I carried Ole Stickie.  You won’t find a lot of tigers or lions or bears around Apache, Oklahoma anymore. I killed `em all. I supposed I had hunted them to extinction by the time I was 11 or 12 years old. I did a lot of exploring by then.

The neighborhood boys had a favorite place to play called The Canyon. In reality it was only a 200 yard stretch of ditch. It was about fifteen or twenty feet deep and maybe fifteen feet wide. When you’re a kid, a place like that is a canyon.  One end of the canyon became a dumping ground for old cars. The canyon held quite a number of autos that were piled on top of each other, and the pile created a network of passages that little boys could crawl through. I can still remember the smell of the musty, rotting fabric from the car seats. It was dark down in the bottom of this stack of cars, but not too dark.

Explore?

No parent today would ever allow a kid to have that kind of adventure. But hey! We were just doing what we were supposed to be doing, playing outside. (An advantage of growing up in a small town in the 1960’s, we would leave and be gone for hours, sometimes drifting a couple miles from home. Mom didn’t worry, we were in a community.)

The Topic: Tramadol For Sale Online Go Exploring –  N.T. Wright suggests that we should explore four areas of our inner life in order to more fully understand and experience the Christian life.

1) Our longing for justice;

2) Our quest for spirituality;

3) Our hunger for relationships;

4) Our delight in beauty.

Justice:  I’m certain that we want justice in the world. We want earthly matters to be put-to-right. We would like for things on the playground to “be fair” too. As we study the life of Jesus, we see that so much of His work is pointing out the difference between the values of God’s Kingdom and and the values of worldly authorities (governments and religious leaders). Jesus is in the business of putting things to right. I want to explore more about my role in joining Christ to seek justice and just-ness.

Spiritulality: The goals of secularization seem to be set on quenching the quest for spirituality. Too many weird things happen with people in that quest and too many impractical “isms” are born there. How many ways are there to be spiritual? Jesus offers the way that is both practical and true.

Relationships: How many books have been written about relationships? Religion is that concern with vertical relationship and the horizontal relationship is how we find one another.  It’s always great to allow Jesus to lead us in the Buy Valium Online Without Prescription How Department of relationships.

Beauty:  My wife loves sunsets. She adores them like no person I have ever known. She is gifted in her ability to see beauty in the things we have going on most each and every day. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If that is true, it is true because Jesus addresses it in His words, “the lamp of the body is the eye, when your eye is good, your whole body will be filled with light.” (Matthew 6:22).

It’s important to study the Bible. Go exploring from time to time. Explore your inner life. Get yourself a coffee or a beverage of your choice. Open your Bible and read the words of Jesus. It is a wonderful adventure.

The most wonderful thing about the Living Word, is that you can seek to understand the Scriptures, and be amazed, because the Scriptures understand you.

Oklahoma Horizon TV

Giving Our Vets a Fighting Chance

Too often you hear stories of our war veterans coming home to simply be forgotten. We welcome them with open -arms when they return, but often times we forget that these heroes may have trouble stepping back into civilian life.
A courageous program at Oklahoma State University, one of the few of its kind, is changing all that. The veteran entrepreneurship program brings disabled veterans from across the country together for eight intense days of training.

In this week’s video blog we meet program participants both new and old and learn how they are changing their businesses and lives for the better.

Ambien Online Ordering ~Courtenay DeHoff

Not-So-Newlywed Adventures, Relationships

Not-So-Newlyweds: Couldn’t See the Mountains for the Snowflakes

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Since I write this series of posts called “The Not-So-Newlyweds Adventures,” one might assume I lead an adventurous life. While I am committed to finding/making adventure in the most ordinary of circumstances, lately Luke and I have felt like we are in a rut.

A boredom rut.

We are young and don’t have kids, yet we find ourselves crashing in front of the TV at the end of a day, wishing we had more interesting things going on in our lives.

For a while, we were unfairly blaming Oklahoma for this. Our conversations centered mostly on the weather, lamenting that outside activities can be challenging. In the winter, no one wants to be outside because it’s too cold, and there aren’t any mountains to make it worth our while. In the summer, it’s too hot to walk outside without needing a shower, which tends to usher us quickly back into the nearest air-conditioned haven. And when the temperature is perfect, the wind is what gets you. It will simultaneously destroy your hair and zap your enthusiasm for the outdoors.

Logically, our thought was that we should escape to somewhere inherently more interesting and less bent toward flighty weather patterns. In an effort to act on that goal, we recently took a trip to Boulder, Colorado. We got a little more “adventure” than we asked for, but I think we learned a bit about how to live our normal days.

If you happen to be a weather aficionado, you may have noticed a snowstorm that hit the Denver area the first weekend of February involving record snowfall that Friday. Undaunted by reports of “blizzard-like” conditions in Western Kansas, we took off on Thursday afternoon. We probably should have been, well, daunted by the idea of driving through it, but we had a hotel reservation that couldn’t be cancelled that close to check-in. So, blizzard or not, we packed up the Honda and said a few prayers. The snow started when we got to the Colorado border on I-70 headed west from Kansas. That last leg of the trip took much longer than it should have because of icy, snow-packed roads and limited visibility, but we arrived in Boulder safely and just before midnight. As we fell into bed that night, dreams of majestic mountains greeting us the next morning danced in our heads.

Instead, what we woke up to on Friday looked much like what we went to sleep to on Thursday: Continue reading Not-So-Newlyweds: Couldn’t See the Mountains for the Snowflakes →

Oklahoma Horizon TV

On the Horizon: Oklahoma Prison Reform

Growing up I remember seeing the Department of Corrections workers on the side of the road, picking up trash and pulling weeds. I always wondered what they did to get where they were. As I grew older, I found out they likely were involved in drugs and alcohol or minor assault cases. Time passed and I saw the number of inmates increase each time I encountered them, and I heard local politicians complain about prisons being overcrowded.

In this week’s video blog we continue our look at prison reform in Oklahoma. Our Rob McClendon sits down Speaker of the House, Kris Steele, to look at an issue he takes very personally.

https://suncoasteam.com/free-reports/ ~ Andy Barth

Faith

God, Faith, Manias, and Post Game Interviews

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I loved following Tim's story

This past fall I decided that I should steer clear of the Tim Tebow mania.  Though I loved the story and continue to admire Tebow’s sincerity and faith both on and off the field, I couldn’t escape the nagging feeling that much of our day-to-day commentary about “God’s favorite football player” was off.  The way I saw it, if we weren’t careful with our words, we might start sounding like we actually believed God was intervening in order to help a corporate business which holds a professional football franchise to score more points than other such franchises.
At first I was mildly amused at the notion of God’s divine favor being poured out on a guy playing a game for a living. Americans love to be amused; we build incredible stages surrounded by ample amounts of seating to coddle our desire to be entertained. Sundays are our day of respite from our work and stress. We file into our rows, take our seats and expect to see talent, sharp performance, jumbo screens, and fog machines. Then we go home and see it again as we watch sports. And let’s be honest, Tebowmania was a great story.  But then again, so was Seabiscuit, a horse (but I am unfamiliar with his religious affiliation).

Jeremy Lin

My amusement with the Tebow thing turned to concern when I heard a fellow Christian say it was the “hand of God.” Continue reading God, Faith, Manias, and Post Game Interviews →

Oklahoma Horizon TV

On the Horizon: Crime and Punishment

We see it constantly on the nightly news. People are imprisoned for drug and alcohol abuse by the hundreds. New DUI ads are created every few months to crack down on drunk drivers. Our prison system is full of people who have messed up and turned down the wrong path. While numerous offenders will repeat their illegal actions, many others may be able to be treated and set back on the right path in society. But as most laws stand, once convicted offenders do not stand a chance. This growing trend across the country has law makers thinking twice about how to handle nonviolent cases.

In this week’s video blog I sit down with Oklahoma County district attorney, David Prater, as we take a look at some of the programs Oklahoma has implemented to help solve the crowded prison issue, but more importantly save some lives.

~ Andy Barth

Woman2Woman

Whitney Houston: The Soundtrack Of My Youth

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A week ago, I wouldn’t have labeled myself a Whitney Houston fan. Sure, I can appreciate her talent and my, oh my, was she a pretty lady, but I hadn’t kept up with her career since long before she entered her turbulent Bobby Brown years.

Her tragic and untimely death prompted me to reflect on her long career. I had forgotten how many great songs she produced. I had forgotten that she acted for a little while. I had forgotten how many moments from my childhood and adolescence featured none other than Whitney Houston.

You need only log onto Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, or Google to see the many ways lifelong Whitney fans are paying tribute to their idol. These public discussions are tempered by those who are concerned about the lack of negative attention regarding the anticipated cause of death and the implications for how we as a society view drug use and abuse. My intention is not to address this conflict, as I don’t have anything to add to this particular discussion. I do, however, look fondly on the memories I unearthed this week from the recesses of my brain, and I will contribute to the various tributes by sharing those memories with you.

I clearly recall the first time I saw the Whitney Houston album cover and heard Whitney’s voice. Granted I was a child, but I had never heard a voice like hers and I certainly had never seen a woman who looked like her. You may remember the album cover – slicked back hair and exotic dress. She was gorgeous. My friends and I would spend hours dancing around our bedrooms singing “The Greatest Love of All” at the top of our lungs. We were convinced this song would change the world, but only if we sang it loudly enough and with extreme passion. My friend Hayley was a forward thinker and called dibs on having the song performed at her future wedding. We all reluctantly agreed to let her have it, because we couldn’t find a loophole in the dibs system. Come to think of it, I attended Hayley’s wedding and I’m pretty sure Whitney Houston was not present, nor was the coveted song performed. I knew I shouldn’t have given up so easily during those early negotiations.
Continue reading Whitney Houston: The Soundtrack Of My Youth →

Oklahoma Horizon TV

On the Horizon: Should It Stay or Should It Go?

Tax reform is taking Oklahoma by storm and personal income tax is at the center of it all. Governor Mary Fallin detailed her plan to reduce, and eventually phase out, personal income tax in her recent State of the State address. While many agree tax reform needs to be on the table, not everyone is convinced reducing our state income tax is the way to go.

In this week’s video blog, University of Central Oklahoma’s, Mickey Hepner, says why we may want to think twice before reducing our income tax.
Rob McClendon

Faith

BE-ing There

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We were barely seated in the restaurant and I had just laid my napkin across my lap. I looked up and smiled at the tops of five bowed heads. My privilege this day was to take the band, [a.k.a. music leaders, a.k.a. “worship team”] to lunch. You may think that all five had bent their heads in prayer. Not so much.  Instead, each guy had his mobile device in hand and was either reading or thumbing a message.

Now, I assumed that they were “checking-in” or making straight their schedules for the afternoon. But I waited, and as waiter worked to find out what we would be drinking, the texting/tweeting/thumbing continued. There were peeks up and a clumsy sort of reconnecting to conversation. I was trying to get to know them and create rapport at our table. Oddly enough, throughout lunch, the devices remained at the ready; short vibrations caused the owner to give a glance, often accompanied by a grin. Around the table the fork was intermittently laid aside these young, deft fingers sent out a quick message. It was all very natural and normal for this bunch; I was the only person who was having trouble engaging. I guess I’m addicted to a bit more eye-contact. They proved to be gifted at multi-tasking; they could eat, jab at one another, answer questions I tossed onto the table, and maintain allegiance to their cell phones. I was both impressed and depressed.

Woody Allen - philosopher?

Woody Allen, that great philosopher once said, “ https://www.c4trio.com/contacto/ Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

I’ve always liked that one-liner from Allen. My personal application is the importance of BEING THERE.  How much of life and opportunity have we wished away simply because our mind it somewhere else? I spent too much of my childhood wanting to be a grown up, and I’ve spent too much of my adulthood wishing I was a child again. I’ve worked on self-discipline of mind — here Be Where You Are. (After all, we are human-beings, not human-doings.)

I wish I could say that I’m such a perfect person, so much without sin that I don’t commit an occasional breach of cell phone etiquette. I have loving family members who have corrected me when tempted to disengage because I have my device out and am checking email, texts, tweets, and anything else available from the outside world. I work at device discipline and etiquette.

I think Jesus would have been great with the use of his iPhone. Continue reading BE-ing There →

Oklahoma Horizon TV

On the Horizon: To Tax or Not To Tax

We all love to hate them, but we love the benefits they provide. Taxes may prove to be the hottest issue in the state legislature this session. During her State of the State address, Governor Mary Fallin proposed a plan to phase out Oklahoma’s personal income tax. The three-point plan to phase out the tax is leaving some singing her praises and others raising big questions.

In this week’s video blog, we sit down with lawmakers on both sides of the issue.
~Courtenay Dehoff

Oklahoma culture, Relationships

Who Are Your Sweethearts?

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Papa and Sara, 1963

I Corinthians 13:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited,
5 does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.

6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth.
7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8A Love never ends.
13 Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

“You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

 (said Aibiline Clark, the maid, to little Mae Mobley Leefolt) 

February has found us all ready!  February, the shortest month of the year, is filled to the brim with special days.  Black History Month, American Heart Month, and Library Month, Groundhog’s Day, The Super Bowl, Presidents’ Day and Presidential birthdays, Spunky Old Broads’ Day, National Visit A Shut-in Day, Leap Day, Freelance Writers’ Appreciation Week, International Friendship Week, along with many others special days all share their glory in the month of February.  My favorite day of the month falls in the middle on the 14th – yes, Valentine’s Day. A little Googling or chacha-ing* will lead you to the story of St. Valentine.  Here is a quick link:   http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day

I confess, that in my youth, if there was no one to shower me flowers, chocolates and sweet nothings, I would mope around with a long face each year around St. Valentine’s Day.  That all changed in college, with the help of an intermittent job. Continue reading Who Are Your Sweethearts? →

Cents and Sensibility, Relationships

St. Valentine is not the Patron Saint of Debt

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Awwww new love!

Editor’s note – this is a “from the vault” release that never stops being relevant for you, your loved ones, or Valentine’s Day…enjoy!

Here we are again. Valentine’s Day has come back around and if you’re like me, the status of your love life is directly proportional to how you feel about the holiday. Lucky for me, I’m now happily married to a great guy. This year I have some conversation hearts in a jar on my desk, a pink and red wreath on my office door, and heart wallpaper on my cell phone. Heck, I will probably even wear red on the actual day. Love is grand! But this hasn’t always been the case. If I were stuck back where I was eight years ago, single and somewhat bitter about love (when I spent Valentine’s Day with a guy friend eating wings at Hooters), I’d probably be tempted to pelt a few snowballs at any happy couple that wandered into striking distance. I will sheepishly admit that in my “loveless” years I may have crudely referred to the holiday as VD.

I’ve heard many times that Valentine’s Day is just a made up holiday to line the pockets of candy and card makers. I can understand why people would say that but I also think they’re missing the point. Is there anything really wrong with taking one day to focus on telling our loved ones how we feel about them?

The key is not to get carried away with overspending and to focus on the point of the holiday, which is to show someone that you love and appreciate him/her. Choose carefully how you share the love. According to my friend Carla, her husband had better not even consider getting her that footed pajama thing she keeps seeing ads for. Apparently, she is not buying the claims that “it feels like a hug”. Even if you can’t afford a giant stuffed bear, Godiva chocolates, jewelry, and two dozen roses for your sweetie, there are still ways to show that you care without going into debt.

Continue reading St. Valentine is not the Patron Saint of Debt →

Family

The Importance of Showing Up

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You can say a lot of things about my brother in law Joe. He makes a mean pot of homemade chili. As evidenced by my son Kyle’s peals of laughter, he does a spot on impression of King Kong in the inflatable wrestling ring. He also makes the funniest tooth fairy I’ve ever seen. But Joe was blessed in another way, too, that may be evidenced only by those who have found themselves really in need of a friend. Joe understands the importance of showing up.

You probably have a friend like Joe. At least, I hope you do. If you had surgery and needed someone to drive you home, he’d be the one in the waiting room who would eventually bring the car around, drive you home, help you up the steps, fluff up your pillows, and make sure you were OK before he went home. Of all the things I can say about Joe, the biggest compliment I can pay him is that I know if I ever really needed him, he would be there for me. And he would probably be the last to leave. I can’t really think of a major event that has occurred in my life since I have known Joe where he hasn’t been there. I know that I can always count on him and that is a rare quality these days. Thanks, Joe!

I am so fortunate to have many great friends and a wonderful family. I think of all of the times people have shown up for me. I remember when my dad was really sick and all of the friends and family who spent countless hours with us at the hospital over seven months. It wasn’t so much that they kept us entertained. They didn’t have to always know exactly the right thing to say. They didn’t have to say anything. It just meant so much that they were there, just sitting in the same room, watching TV with us to give us something else to think to talk about for a few minutes. It was a welcome distraction. Sometimes just a kind look or a warm hand on your shoulder can make all the difference to remind you that you aren’t alone.

As I look back on my life so far I see mental snapshots of both good times and bad. Continue reading The Importance of Showing Up →

Faith

Something Beautiful

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Last May I was in Orlando, Florida as a part of my job (sponsoring 60+ high school seniors, tough job, but somebody has to do it). One afternoon I took some time off and met two wonderful ladies. They were once “just kids” in the church youth group (circa 1985). I was the youth pastor. Tisha and Alisa have become godly women who inspire me.

We rendezvoused for a 25 year reunion at a nice restaurant at Downtown Disney. Our lunch turned into a 3 hour conversation that was just a little bit of heaven for me. Toward the end of our time I had decided that one of life’s greatest privileges is meaningful conversation. We spoke openly about our lives and all that God has been doing in our 25 years. Our passion for God, life, and one another is mutual. Our fellowship was rich, rich, rich.

Alisa's Family

In that conversation Alisa showed us pictures of her kids. They sure are growing. And then she announced that they are expecting a third!  What? I was happy, but I thought, “Wow, that’s great, but you’re how old?”  By the grace of God I did not say that outloud , no insensitive outbursts… this time.  — She was absolutely glowing, and that made me very happy.

Then Alisa said, “Here’s a picture of him.”

A sonogram? No. She turned the page in her picture book and said, “Here he is, we love him so much already!”

Baby Hudson, I love this kid!

It was a photo of an infant. I took a double–take. This baby had a severe cleft-palate. The light went on and I understood. Bill and Alisa were adopting a special needs child. And these words spilled from my heart, “How beautiful.”

This weekend, the first weekend of February, 2012, Bill and Alisa are in China. They have been waiting since last May for the travel documents

In route to China

that would permit them to go get their son.

I remember Alisa’s famous words to me that day. “We have prayed to be found faithful in doing God’s work. We have friends who have adopted unwanted Chinese baby girls, and then we learned about little boys with special needs. They need families too. We thought ‘if not us—then who?’”

She talked about Bill’s job in the Air Force and the kinds of medical benefits his family receives. They have viewed their assignments in life, their gifts and abilities, as a part of God’s sovereing design. As stewards of all that God has done in their lives, they want to be used as God’s instruments of love, grace, and hope.

This weekend little Mr. Hudson will join his family. After more than ten months of praying and planning for their son, Alisa will hold her son.

To God be the glory.

Hudson Taylor, missionary to China

And by the way, Alisa was firm in the fact that she wanted his name to reflect his birthplace and unique story that is a gift from God. The name “Hudson” is from one of China’s most famous missionaries, Hudson Taylor , 1832-1905.

Oklahoma Horizon TV

On The Horizon: Flying Back in Time

Ever since I was little I always remember looking high in the sky in search of airplanes. They fascinated me. They are so big, yet seem light as a feather. When I got the opportunity to get on an airplane for the first time as a 6 year-old, I was ecstatic. I have flown on countless planes since then and still marvel at their abilities in the air.

As we continue to advance in today’s world it is important to look back and recognize how we got where we are today. In this week’s video blog, we travel to Oolagah, OK, where TV sensation and All-American hero, Will Rogers, was born. We take a look at the 76th Annual Will Rogers Fly-in, an event held in honor of Rogers and Wiley Post – two men responsible for so much in the aviation industry.
Andy Barth

Relationships, Woman2Woman

The Plight Of The All-Noing Parent

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No. Nope. Negative. Nuh uh. Not gonna happen. Absolutely not. O, let me count the ways I tell my kids they can’t have or do something. In short, I say “no” A LOT.

I’ve heard a good amount of conflicting information about the impact of saying “no” to children. Now, I don’t think anyone would argue the need to stop a child from stepping into the street or touching a hot pan on the stove. There’s a good deal of discourse, though, about the right and wrong ways to respond when our children ask for (or demand) time, attention, or toys, or are behaving in a way that needs to be stopped.

While one expert expounds on the necessity of parents asserting authority and reinforcing firm boundaries, another warns of the devastatingly negative impact to a child’s self-esteem of denying kids their thoughts, opinions, and desires. As with many other philosophies in the parenting world, I feel like we are set up to feel guilty no matter where we stand on the issue.

Just in my circle of family and friends, I see divergent beliefs. Some parents work very hard to avoid saying “no” to their children. These parents aren’t pushovers, but they believe there is something inherently damaging about the word. They distract their toddler when they see the telltale gleam in her eye when staring at the dog’s food or when she’s demanding chips for dinner. They are quick to praise good deeds as a way to elicit only good behavior. And, they ask their kids why they want to do or have whatever it is they are asking for in order to understand the child’s point of view. The child eventually tires of the conversation and moves on to something else.

I also know parents who seem afraid to say no to their kids. They worry their children won’t love them if they are constantly denying them, stating life is too short not to experience simple and inconsequential joys. These parents are usually the same ones who appease their children in order to avoid anything “ugly” in front of other people. As long as the kids get what they want, there is no crying, whining time outs, etc.

Still others feel like “no” is almost an automatic response no matter the question. My husband and I fall into this category. We know we should be in charge and entered parenthood prepared for that authoritative job. We even knew our precious offspring would try to manipulate us – that’s what kids do – and we were poised and ready for the challenge. What we weren’t prepared for was all the gray area, blurred lines, and being so very tired! Lately we’ve been wondering whether our “nos” are always necessary or whether we sometimes take the easy way out instead of doing our kids justice by thinking critically about each situation.

I am not a parenting expert; I’m simply a parent trying to do right by my kids and stay sane in the process. I believe in positive reinforcement and parenting from a place of love and acceptance. I also think saying “no” is absolutely necessary. I believe this is the first step to teaching my children how to say “no” to themselves and others when something isn’t right – socially, morally, or legally. Down the road, when they are faced with life’s temptations, I want them to be able to use their own “no.” I try to remember that today’s second cookie quickly and easily turns into tomorrow’s far riskier choice. Continue reading The Plight Of The All-Noing Parent →

Oklahoma culture, Oklahoma Horizon TV

On the Horizon: Oklahoma’s Native Son

He remains one of America’s favorite people. Years after his death, Will Rogers is still living strong in spirit. The town of Claremore remembers this brilliant man with a museum, a college, and even a street named Will Roger’s Blvd.

In this week’s video blog, we tour the Will Roger’s Memorial and Museum and discover all things Will Rogers.
~Courtenay Dehoff

Not-So-Newlywed Adventures, Relationships

Not-So-Newlyweds: The Fearsome Double Date

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Game of Life

I had never been on a blind date until I got married.

So here’s how it goes. You have a friend, and he/she has a significant other, and you think to yourself, hey, let’s all be friends!

It doesn’t necessarily work that way.

What inevitably happens (to us) is that I like her, and Luke thinks he could be friends with him, but as a couple, we’re not feeling the magic. The ever-so-subtle “let’s get out of here” signal is waving long before the waiter asks whether we want dessert. (No, thank you. Just the check, please, and quick.)

So we’ve had some struggles finding couple friends to spend time with. It’s almost like dating again, except that we plan together. “What if they don’t like the restaurant?” “Oh my goodness, what should we wear?” (That’s me, not Luke.) “Did they like us?” “Should we reciprocate their invitation?”

In our early coupledom, we were exhausted by this process, having intentionally left the dating game behind. Then, for a long time, we couldn’t figure out where the people our age had gone. We went to a small church that didn’t have many young couples. We had graduated from college, and the bar scene isn’t our thing, so we didn’t look for friends there. Some of our closest friends lived “back home” and were inaccessible for a quick dinner and a movie. We were at a real loss about where married-but-no-kids-yet people who lived in a 20-mile radius were hiding.

Eventually, we found a church with a young couples’ class, and we thought, “There they are!” We made some friends, but by that point, we were all working and didn’t have much time for hanging out, and now they all have babies and really don’t have time to hang out.

Both of us were raised in a small town, where we learned to form solid and lasting friendships, not just casual acquaintances. It’s just the way it works “in the country.” If your neighbor’s car breaks down, you take him to the co-op to get it fixed. You don’t get dressed up to have a backyard cookout with friends, and that line between friends and family gets pretty blurry. That value got into us, so it’s not that we are picky about friends…we just know that when we form a friendship, we’re signing up for an addition to the family. It’s a commitment we don’t make lightly. Apps like the no signup sex app make meeting people who share those genuine, small-town values much easier and more natural.

So we have persevered through a few uncomfortable dinners because it’s worth it.

Just recently, one of my closest childhood friends and her husband moved to our town, and we have discovered that the “couple compatibility” factor is present with them, so for one of the first times in our marriage, we have couple friends who we can call on a moment’s notice and invite over to play board games in our sweatpants. Having that type of friendship reminds us that we’re not alone in our quest to succeed in marriage and life as a young couple. It provides encouragement that only a friend-turned-family can, and it helps to share life with someone else so we don’t sit in our house and forget there’s a world outside. And of course, the personality and differences of friends just adds to the adventure that can come of everyday life.

Faith

God, Grace and Tomato Guy

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"Tomato Guy"

What does God need?  Does He need workers for the fields that are “white unto harvest?” Perhaps He needs companionship, or maybe he needs worship. Nah.  It stands to reason that the Absolute does not need anything. Consider “Tomato Guy.”

In Oklahoma there are lots and lots of Tomato Guys. If you live in Oklahoma I’m sure you are familiar with your own local version of Tomato Guy.

Tomato Guy is an autonomous member of an adventitious cult of Oklahoma gardeners.  Typically they purchase a cluster of very small tomato plants (3-for-the-price-of-1 deal just too good to resist).    If conditions are only mildly favorable, and when the plants are appropriately watered, you can expect a bumper crop of tomatoes. Tomato Guy is very proud of his bounty and he rarely appears anywhere without lavishing sacks, boxes, or plastic bags of tomatoes.

SIDE NOTE: For purposes of food tariffs the Supreme Court has ruled that tomatoes are vegetables.  Yes, I know, you watched some game show where some guy said they are fruits. I’m going with the Supreme Court; let’s keep this nice and legal, okay.

Growing up in Apache, Oklahoma I first learned about Tomato Guy.  My dad was the town barber and we very rarely went without gifts of fresh tomatoes. Of course we encountered Okra Guy and Green Peppers Guy too.

Um, is there a point here?

Yes. Picture this. If I go to Tomato Guy’s house and offer him a couple of puny tomatoes, I’m going to look silly. His wife is canning tomatoes, there are tomatoes galore on all windowsills, and dozens are bagged, ready for delivery at Sunday school. Tomato Guy is all-sufficient (regarding tomatoes).

So too we must consider the All-Sufficiency of God. He is perfect. He is the very essence of completeness. Creation itself cannot add to God, and neither can our moral goodness. I need, you need, but God does not need.

Because God is all-sufficient, complete, eternal and perfect the truth is this — God needs nothing.

Not only is it important that we wrap our faith around this concept, we must understand this — our failures cannot detract from who God is either.  And who is God? The Scripture says that God is love (I John 4:8), and God offers grace upon grace (John 1:16). For illustrative purposes I’ll compare God to Tomato Guy (yes, awkward). Continue reading God, Grace and Tomato Guy →