I Don’t Recommend Books…But If I DID…

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Kelly M. Roberts, MS, LMFT - Clinical Instructor, Oklahoma State University

https://leoniaarts.org/events/ Friends, colleagues and sometimes people I don’t even know very well  ask me this same question several times each year, AND I provide them with a baffled face and stammering answer every single time: “Hey, what book do you recommend for __(enter any couples issue)__ ?  I’m thinking about buying a few books today.” OR …“I have a friend who is looking for a book.”  OR,… “I want to recommend a book, can you help me?”

https://www.admoday.com/history-culture/ I struggle with two main issues when asked this question.  First, I have no idea what the person or couple has already read.  And secondly, people apply books and personal growth in such unique ways that sometimes what I think is a great read or extremely applicable might fall flat with another person.  Or sometimes that flips and what I think isn’t necessarily sound or grounded information is the “key” to helping someone get out of a rut.

https://nerdexp.com/fanmaderayman/ Therefore, understanding that you may have already read some (or all) of these books, and, that you may not get out of them what I or some of my clients have gotten, I’ve put together a list of the go here top five challenges I see couples face on a regular basis and books that might help in direct or indirect ways.  However, I’ve also provided a bit of discussion to go along with the books so I’ll be breaking this post into two or three parts.  Here we go…

enter To begin, I want to address the core “top three” https://hsprental.com/general-equipment/ basic challenges most couples will experience at some time in their life: opposing views on parenting, financial struggles, and sex/intimacy.  In that order:

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Stockyards City Cookbook Cookthrough: Amazing Asian Salad Toss Y’all

https://www.sierrarealestate.net/2017-women-of-influence-ali-haralson/

https://thebarefootbeat.com/travel-guides/ Mondays are one of my favorite days of the week. How many people do you know who can say that?! I love them because I am a hairdresser so I sleep in and stay in the house in my PJs until, well…I can’t tell you how long. I did accomplish a new recipe to share though and it did not require standing in the kitchen all day!

I present to you: The Ingredients. Easy!

https://oregonsurgicalwellness.com/about-us/ The girls and I were getting together at April’s as usual. When flipping through the Stockyards City cookbook, deciding what to take to dinner, the Amazing Asian Salad Toss caught my eye. We decided to build the whole meal around the salad. April made her famous homemade chicken curry to add to the  mix. I must say this took all of 5-10 minutes to put together and all the girls cleaned their bowls, a few went back for seconds, and acted as if I made something from scratch!

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Forty Days in the UK Flashback: An All-In-One Guide

This past summer I left my beloved state and visited a foreign land.  The primary purpose was to take courses with a group of students from the University of Oklahoma School of Law in Oxford.  However, I combined other parts of the trip with my regular marital policy work at OSU, and took a few days vacation to visit distant relatives I had never met.  The trip was one of the best experiences of my life and greatly nurtured the Explorer within me.  I’ve been working on cleaning up all the photograph links that somehow deteriorated during our move to the new site.  During this process, I decided to put this guidepost up so if anyone would ever like to revisit the journey through my “40 Days in the UK,” they could do it all from one location.

Cheers!

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Staring Fear in the Face

I am not a risk taker.

I am Conservative Guy.  I am Mr. Play it Safe.

It’s to the point that I won’t even try new foods.  The other night someone offered me some asparagus.  I have no idea if I’ve ever had asparagus and I promise you I couldn’t tell you what asparagus tastes like.  I said, “No thanks, I don’t like asparagus.”

Not true.  To dislike something you have to try it first.

When I go to the grocery store I buy the same products every single time.  I even have my routine down.  It begins with the soap and contact lens cleaner, moves on to bread, frozen dinner section, cereal aisle, produce, beverages, meat, see you later.  There is never a variation.

Okay, sometimes I do it backwards, but that’s only if I’m feeling dangerous.

Food is only one example.  Growing up, all I ever wanted was to become a wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys.  I watched my ‘Boys every Sunday and dreamed of someday catching passes on the Texas Stadium turf.

My first chance to play real football came in seventh grade.  The gear was sweet.  I had never worn actual shoulder pads or buttoned up the chinstrap on my own helmet.  I took it all home, put on the uniform and went straight to the mirror.

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Real Men and Oak Trees

A comment exchange from a previous post got me thinking about an idea I first read in a book by Gordon MacDonald. I don’t remember the exact book and I really don’t even remember if it is, in fact, a quote by him. Nonetheless, the concept obviously stuck with me even if I don’t remember who actually said it.

A real man is, in many ways, a lot like an oak tree.

The wood of an oak tree is more dense than that of just about any other tree in the forest. This quality makes the oak tree one of the strongest and most hardy of all trees. Because oak wood is also high in tannin, it is extremely resistant to insect and fungus attacks as well. Without getting too deep into the science of tree hardiness, the gist of the matter is that oak trees are the mountain men of the tree world.

In its full glory, an oak tree is one of the most impressive looking trees in existence. It provides shade from the sun, shelter from storms, and it’s acorns are not only a great source of food for squirrels but they grow up to be mighty oak trees themselves.

The roots of an oak tree are extremely deep and extensive. A mature oak tree can draw up to 50 gallons of water per day out of the soil around it.

Because of the strength of its wood, the oak tree is one of the most useful types of timber known to man. Since the middle ages, people have been building impressive structures out of oak: palaces, naval ships, fine furniture, treasure chests… just to name a few.

However, despite the great strength of the oak tree and its hardy resistance to attacks from external pests, when an oak tree does fall, it is often sudden and without warning.

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