Where Have All the Great Marriages Gone?

I spend my days talking about marriage, divorce, family strengthening strategies, and child-well-being. I can spout research and trends, and articulate the many factors attributed to changing family dynamics. I’ve seen firsthand the complex challenges low-income families and single parents face in trying to make ends meet and help their children belie the odds. Let me tell you – it isn’t pretty out there.

I do all of this as a part of my job, which I love, but some days I feel like a fish swimming upstream. It’s easy for the stories and statistics to fuse together in my head and settle into a discouraging presence in my heart. This isn’t altogether a bad thing, because the nagging concern I feel certainly motivates me to plug ahead and work hard to implement programs and strategies which help couples and individuals achieve their family goals. And, even though I hear some tough stories without a happy ending, I’m privy to an equal number of revelations by couples who admit to feeling hopeful for the first time in weeks, months, or even years. Hope is a powerful emotion; without it, they will most certainly fail. With hope, however, amazing things can happen.

Another bright spot for me and something that adds to my own feelings of hope is the launch of the “Oklahoma’s Most Inspiring Couples” campaign. For the past three years, we have worked with a media partner to conduct a statewide search for couples who have shown commitment to their marriages in a significant way – have triumphed through adversity, endured through sickness and health, or otherwise inspired friends and family with their support of one another or zeal for life. Just when I start to feel like there are no couples to serve as role models for hard work and enduring friendship, the “Oklahoma’s Most Inspiring Couples” campaign reminds me that long-lasting and healthy marriages ARE possible.

It just so happens that this week is the launch of our new campaign, so what better way to kick it off than to share some information with those who care about Oklahoma and Oklahomans – you! If you’ve been inspired by an Oklahoma couple, Continue reading Where Have All the Great Marriages Gone?

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The 2011 Imaginary Family Project – Week 47

#47 of 52 : THE KALIN FAMILY via ELDRIDGE BENJAMIN
The Imaginary Family Project - Week 47

External Photo Clues:
None

Imagine:

The Skin I’m In

Well, she actually sent it. She sent it to my office. I’d never given them my home address. They’d never asked, not that I care. I don’t even understand why I’m even thinking about this. I was sure I’d put them behind me. But, looking at this picture of my ‘family’, I do feel something. I’ve considered waking Nzhinga. She’s great at this sort of thing. I’m not.

I’m looking at the photograph again. I examine the face of Edmund, my ‘brother’. At only 19, his drinking has clearly taken a toll on his body. Apparently, he’s close to his niece, Mildred’s daughter. I almost feel programmed not to look at Mildred. My mother often explained that it was loathsome enough to be ugly on the outside, and the very least I could do was to avoid ugly thoughts. I regard my mother’s countenance. Even though I’m thousands of miles away, I can’t help but to feel like she’s judging me. Her scowl suggests that, as I stand in her judgment, the verdict is unfavorable. It’s as though her disapproval has, somehow traversed the sea, implanting itself into my life. Continue reading The 2011 Imaginary Family Project – Week 47

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My Little Victory Garden, 2011: Goodbye…and Salt, Pepper, Oil

My radishes look quasi-ready to harvest, my green onions keep things fresh in my kitchen, my spinach and lettuce are playing tag with the freezing weather…and I realized I probably need to shut down our My Little Victory Garden posts.  Why?  My garden is basically taking a nap, and although my cooking with local vegetables will continue as long as I can find them, I thought this series could use some rest.

Okay, I could use some rest from this series.  There, I said it.  Before I sign off until next Spring, however, I thought I would share with you the secret that keeps amazing me time and again.  What is that, you ask?  Well, it’s the secret that to eat well, you usually only need salt, pepper and oil.

Oh sure, saffron or special fillers are always a great thing, but for me – if I had to choose a day in and day out routine – it would be none other than delicious food from the Earth, barely enhanced with salt, pepper and oil (SPO).  Here’s an example…

Bok Choy grown in the Tulsa area (Yang Farm), with chili-oil, salt and pepper. Continue reading My Little Victory Garden, 2011: Goodbye…and Salt, Pepper, Oil

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On the Horizon: Monumental Task

Old Station Monuments and More is barely one mile from my own home and I had yet to step foot inside. Like so many people, my mom and I would always discuss what a “cute little place” it is as we flew by on Highway 33. Little did I know, there was not only a unique story about the property, but a truly unique story about the couple behind the business.

In this week’s video blog, I’ll show you the quirkiness that will keep you coming back and an atmosphere that is sure to please.

~Courtenay Dehoff

 

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Like an Old Married Couple…

Sam Presti is going to the Home Depot.  I don’t know what time they open, but the Thunder GM is likely perusing the circular for David Stern’s recently announced post Lockout “Buy Now Pay Later” free agent sale.

"Young pup," Sam Presti - OKC Thunder General Manager, image by NewsOK.

It was not that long ago that Presti, the young pup that he is, sat on the sofa listening to old Poppa NBA and the trophy wife Momma Players Association fighting like there was no tomorrow.  Presti’s siblings, the NBA fans, sat and cried next to him while Momma and Poppa called each other every name in the book and yelled that the love was gone, likely forever.

Then, cooler heads prevailed.  You see, Mom and Pop remembered what it was that brought them together in the first place.  Was it love?  Not hardly.  You see, the kids control the trust fund, and without the family staying together and the kiddos seeing the old couple playing kissie kissie nice, there ain’t no money for nobody.

So, here we are.  A new Route 66 lies before us, courtesy of the proposed reduced game reconciliation schedule.

Will we, the kids, agree to go along for the ride?  I assume we will.  Why?  I don’t really know.  Pops is all about practicality, but Momma is kinda fun to watch once the party gets loud.

Thunder Up.

The metaphorical "Poppa and Mama" of this post ~ NBA Commissioner David Stern with NBA Players Union Leader, Billy Hunter. Image by TheMajors.Net.

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Showcasing Red Dirt culture ~ authored and managed by contributors with connections to the great state of Oklahoma.