The Love Languages of our Elders

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Old farmer. Freddy from Utah - click photo to visit photographer's Flickr site.

Order Tramadol Cod Only It’s about doing something that feels dead to you because it makes the other person feel more alive than anything else.  It’s about considering the “other” around you and relegating the “self” of you.  It’s about reaching outside of yourself and touching a dimension of those around you in a way that is personal, intentional and gives them an electric current through their soul.

go here These thoughts and more comprise the thesis of Gary Smalley’s “Five Love Languages” book, now assimilated into many cultures and families across the U.S.  If you haven’t read the book, you might consider doing it soon.  The read is quick, the outline is clear, and there may be those around you that would begin benefiting immediately from your greater understanding of who they are – and how they operate.

https://www.yolascafe.com/aiwd523p To review briefly for those who are not familiar with the work, “Love Languages” are ways to understand the process of yourself and others, and why communications or interactions are (or are not) meaningful.  These processes were identified by Smalley as: acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, physical touch, and words of affirmation.  They must ring true for a great percentage of the population because his “Love Languages” workshops are still filling up across the country.  In fact, I ran into people who were familiar with his book while in the UK this past summer.

https://guelph-real-estate.ca/x8aq77q1n So, why cover a topic when it’s so familiar?

http://www.mscnantes.org/q2k4yf2y The other day I was walking across the parking lot of a supermarket.  I noticed an older woman being steered into the store by a caregiver.  The caregiver could have been a family member, but I’m not sure.  It seemed that every interaction between these two people was one of discomfort, misunderstanding, and ended up an impasse.  At one point, the older woman said, “Why isn’t it okay that I don’t want a pumpkin?  I would just like to enjoy a year where I don’t have to throw away something that just sat there.”  The caregiver said, “You’ve always had pumpkins – every year.  Let’s just get one, okay?”

Tramadol Where To Buy Uk Resigned, the older woman put it in her basket, looked around the room helplessly, found my eyes watching the scene, and looked away.

https://purestpotential.com/oknes0zuhml As I pushed my cart down the aisle, picking up groceries here and there, I began to think about my older family members.  I wondered how their styles of communication or their needs were being met (or not) by our younger family members.  Later that night, I was transcribing some of my grandmother’s memoirs and came across a letter from her father she had copied verbatim.  I recalled that my grandmother was also a “writing” person, that she touched many lives by her loyal letter writing over the years.

https://alldayelectrician.com/y47y3d64 Then my brain hopped a train down the “Love Languages” track.  I began to think about each one of my older family members and wondered if I could identify their “language.”  Hmm.

https://getdarker.com/editorial/articles/bczc8z9eunm follow My mother – My parents aren’t really “old,” but they are elders in our family.  Mom always brings sacks with things in it, every time she sees us.  Perhaps she’s a “receiving gifts” person and gives them because she likes to get them?

https://www.brigantesenglishwalks.com/0sxsmk353 https://www.marineetstamp.com/w7csjdbk0rj My father – He seems to be a “quality time” person.  I know he takes friends to lunch, he meets with people for regular breakfasts or get together times to discuss books and politics – that’s how he conveys that he cares.

click here click here My Grandma Yates – I think she was a “physical touch” person.  She used to always grab grandchildren, pull them toward her, kiss them with a loud smack and give another hug just for good measure.

go https://guelph-real-estate.ca/pqx66ak My Grandpa Yates – I think he was an “acts of service” person.  He measured people by what they did, not what they said.  And he appreciated what they did.  I don’t know if I have enough memories to really identify his love language, but my best guess is service-oriented.

source My Grandpa Frank – I wonder if he was a “words of affirmation” person.  He used to show us things, then look at us expectantly, waiting for our response.  Our job was to say, “Wow – that’s really neat.”  Or, “That was a good find, Grandpa.”  I think he liked to hear encouragement.

https://geolatinas.org/w24j6tu30n My Grandmother Emma Lee – I wonder if hers is quality time?  I know she appreciates it when we come to see her.  But I also know she writes many letters.  Perhaps the letter writing is a way of giving time, of connecting.

I think I’ve covered enough of my family members to make a point.  One of the points I just made with myself is that I don’t know for sure my own family’s love languages; especially the elders in my family who I may just not have considered before.

Do you?  My encouragement for you this week is to observe carefully.  However it is that the elders in your life engage you may very well be how you could best meet their needs.  I can tell right now that I’m going to have to do a bit more investigation.  But at least now I am thinking about it.

If you know the love languages of your elders, write a comment and let us know.  I’m interested in what you’ve observed of the elders in your life.

Is it worth it?


My Juniors and I just finished reading and discussing Arthur Miller’s The Crucible. You may remember reading the play when you were in high school. As a refresher, The Crucible is about the Salem witch trials, and the tragic account of how all hell breaks loose in a community when theocratic leaders abuse their powers, drugging the masses with the opiate of absolutist rhetoric, and scapegoating and killing everyone on the margins that represents a threat to the status quo. The play was written in the midst of the Red Scare era, and was meant to critique Joseph McCarthy’s “witch hunts” for communists in academia, Hollywood, even the White House.

What struck me this time while reading the play was how those who were in power – Parris, Judge Hawthorn, Judge Danforth – were able to take bad theology and convert it into a kind of mythological drug for the masses. Specifically, they were able to create stories with the capacity to reshape reality to serve their agendas – most importantly to keep themselves in power. Thus they told their story of the “Devil’s work” in the Salem community until the people in the community were telling the stories to each other. After awhile, the leaders were able to sit back and watch the myth work like a wild-fire, devouring anything amendable to reasonableness.

The play descends into hell as these God-ordained leaders substitute theology for ideology, and come to actually believe in the stories they have created. The point Miller makes as hundreds hang from the gallows is this: it’s not reality that we believe in; it’s the stories about reality that we believe in. And these stories are powerful enough to make us believe we have the right to torture, persecute, and ultimately kill (aka bomb, bomb, bomb) in God’s name.

What’s tragic then, as personified in John Proctor’s character, is that when a minority of people refuse to fall under the spells of such silver-tongued wizards, they become the perfect antagonist for the stories that the myth-makers are telling. Thus the John Proctor’s of the world get cast as the “enemy of God”. And so for those like John Proctor, who represent grounded-reality folk, who represent the prophetic voice, who represent the voice from the margins, who represent the Church as the Conscience to the State (as opposed to the Masters of the State or the Servants of the State) – they get what tends to happen to minorities, prophets, those who live on the fringes – they get shunned, branded, vilified, demonized and ultimately silenced. It happened to Isaiah. To Amos. To John the Baptist. To Jesus. To Peter. To Paul. To Martin Luther King Jr. To Oscar Romero. To Dietrich Bonhoeffer. And so many more. And it still happens today.

Sometimes I wonder if there are enclaves of evangelicals who are like the Salem denizens – drugged victims of a mythology, ignorant cogs in a industrial-military-machinery, who believe in a reality that is a gross parody of the way things really are.  Just ask most evangelicals what their eschatology is, for example, and you’ll probably sense what I’m getting at.  What you’ll get an ear full of is not theology but mythology, a boilerplate version of The Left Behind series, where the “us” (those who think and believe like us) get raptured up to heaven and the “them” (anyone who doesn’t think like or believe the things we do) get left to suffer the wrath of God.  Ultimately this version of the biblical story tends to leverage our fear of losing power, which then fuels our desire to preserve the status quo, which then involves  ultimately keeping the powerful in power to take away that fear, which ultimately then gives those in power the ability to pass policies that involves raping the earth, feeding our addiction to oil, making the rich richer, borrowing billions from China, torturing our enemies (thus making us like them), bombing and killing the innocent, and doing nothing to truly end extreme poverty in third world countries.  I mean really, what’s the point of re-arranging the lawn chairs on the Titanic if it’s all going to sink anyway, right?  If the story ends with the total annihilation of all things created, as opposed to the total restoration of all things, then what’s the point?Religion then, as Karl Marx famously points out, becomes the opiate of the en masse.  We are drugged into living passively for the afterlife and not actively for this life.  Rather than engaging the problems and seeking to put the world back to rights, we instead seek to escape the problems and demand our rights to keep the world just the way it is – titled to our advantage.

By writing this, I know that I may be putting my neck in the noose like John Proctor. But is it worth sticking my neck out? That’s what I asked my Juniors at the end of class today. Was John Proctor’s sacrifice worth it? Was his death heroic? Or pathetic?

I leave that question for you to explore. As for me I’m wanting to learn how to be brave. Ironically I find it is easier to be brave with those who aren’t Christians than it is with those who are. Why is that? I’m not sure. But it’s because I love my evangelical brothers and sisters, and it’s because I want to honor my evangelical roots, that I ask them to humble themselves before God with me and seek His face and His truth with all their being. My critique comes from within as an evangelical. It’s a lovers quarrel, really.

So I say, Absolutely! It’s worth the risk. Because I am trying to live deliberately by another story. Not the story of domination. Not the story of revolution. Not the story of purification. Not the story of victimization. Not the story of isolation. Not the story of accumulation. But the story of restoration – the story of heaven crashing into earth and making all things new.  This is the story I seek first and foremost. This is the story I have been summoned up into, which is the story of Jesus launching a project to put the world back to rights, to reconcile heaven and earth, to usher in a never-ceasing age of shalom (Isa. 11).

Okie at the Rally To Restore Sanity and/or Fear

For some while I’ve believed that the most revealing political show on television is, without a doubt, Jon Stewart’s “The Daily Show” on cable television’s Comedy Central.  At first blush, this is an absurd statement to make.  The Daily Show is, after all, a comedy show on a comedy channel hosted by a long running comedian.  But Jon Stewart’s wit and intellect, coupled with the show’s ability to strip issues to their core and reveal the underlying truth (often through parody and exaggeration) is a one-of-a-kind gem.  Though occasionally criticized – probably fairly – for leaning a bit left of center, the show owns no set allegiance and is quick to shine it’s revealing light on topics sensitive to political ideologues of either side.  Case in point… his “Working Stiffed”skit poking hypocritical fun at a Union in Nevada.

Beyond commentary on daily political events, The Daily Show is also a serious production with serious guests covering a long string of serious topics.  Republicans and Democrats alike wait in line to be interviewed by Jon, as well as major scientists, entertainers and authors.  Heck, in a two-week period Jon featured lengthy and thoughtful one-on-one interviews with both Condolezza Rice and Barrack Obama.

Why does the show draw such political opposites?  One reason only: it’s fair.  In between his often hilarious side jaunts and quick witted friendly jabs and instant self-deprecation, Jon asks real questions and allows his guests the courtesy and time to give serious and developed answers.  In a world where cable networks have joined sides, run to the fringe and focused on sound bites or hyperbole, The Daily Show is a small breath of fresh air; it tackles serious topics, allows for details and nuance, and wraps it all up in highly entertaining edgy irreverence.

So when Jon announced on a recent show that he was going to hold a Rally To Restore Sanity on the DC lawn, an obvious play on Glenn Beck’s Rally To Restore Honor that had taken place in the same location a few weeks earlier, I was searching airline prices within minutes.  When his Comedy Central colleague Stephen Colbert, in his own show immediately following Jon’s, announced a simultaneous and competing “Rally To Keep Fear Alive” … I knew I had to go.  This event immediately appeared to be this generation’s Woodstock for mildly disenchanted but fun-loving and optimistic middle of the road pacifists.  How can you possibly say no to that?

So with that, my airline tickets were purchased and on the late afternoon of Friday, October 29th, I was on my way to DC for a rapid fire two-day trip to enjoy the Rally on the 30th.  With a late arrival on the 29th I just grabbed a cheap hotel, but the following morning I got together with my friend and former Normanite, Allison Smith, her son, and her fiancée John.  We started the day out at a great local breakfast Diner and then headed toward the Mall.  This turned out to be a great place to have the advice of locals, because they knew where to catch a bus and roll right to the Lawn trouble-free.  I heard many reports later of a completely jam-packed Metro system, and some of my friends had trouble even getting there.

Fortunately for us, we made it to the rally just in time and found…the biggest crowd I’ve ever been part of in my life!  Size counts eventually put the crowd at 250,000 making it the largest DC rally this year by a factor of approximately 3.  Clearly Jon and Stephen had struck a chord with this event.  So, we tried our best to make it near the stage on 3rd street, or at least to the satellite stage on 5th street.  7th street was as far as I got, and I also got completely separated from Allison and John in the process!…something we all thought might happen. Fortunately we had a meetup plan for later.

Being four full blocks from the stage, you’d think there might be room for comfort.

No.

Every once in a while I could move a half-step; most of the time I could not.  It was truly a can of sardines.  I could only catch an occasional glimpse of the video screen, and had to wonder about the people behind me – the crowd extended for another four full blocks.  A few brave souls even took to tree climbing for a better view, which allowed me the opportunity to catch this wonderful video of some dude climbing a truly difficult tree.  It was painful to watch.  Catch the crowd with their impromptu “Yes You Can!  Yes You Can!”.  Awesome.

Click photo to start "Tree Climbing 'Yes You Can!'" video.

The rally itself was only three hours long and most of it was music and some silly skits between Jon and Stephen.  The Roots gave a full half hour performance, and were followed by one of the stars of MythBusters who conducted several crowd experiments – the best of which was a “wave” of vocalized “wooooo’s”.  But my favorite music performance of the day was a duel between Cat Stevens representing Jon, singing Peace Train, and Ozzy Osbourne representing Stephen, singing Crazy Train – ultimately resolved by the O’Jays with the song Love Train.  Adding to the start studded cast were Cheryl Crow, Kid Rock, Tony Bennett, and even a guest appearance by Kareem Abdul Jabar.

After a solid two and a half hours of fun, Jon took the stage to make a more serious speech.  Jon’s a comedian, and consequently is a pretty silly guy most of the time.  But every so often he gets serious.  One of the finest “serious moments” was his appearance on CNN’s Crossfire a few years ago.  Recruited to come on the show, be funny, and talk about The Daily Show – he decided to do anything but.  Instead he took the show to task HARD, and flipped in on it’s lid.  (click here for a video link)  One week later, in a classic television moment, the show was cancelled!  Another time on The Daily Show he took liberal financial expert James Cramer to the carpet for his role in hyper-sensationalizing serious financial topics right up to the brink of the 2008 meltdown.  So though it’s a rare occurrence, it’s not unheard of for Jon to show a serious side.

Jon’s speech lasted about 15 minutes, and had a few spectacular lines.  My favorites… “If we amplify everything, we hear nothing”… and, “We live in hard times, not end times.”  His point of it all seemed to be that times are tough, but people are good and resilient.  The noise is just noise, no matter what cable news channels say, and the overwhelming majority of Americans are good people that work hard and together every day.  (link to full video and transcript)  Ultimately the crowd in attendance was plenty of proof of Jon’s point.  After the speech a mood of happiness took over for the next several hours as the crowd hung out and slowly drifted away.

At this point I found Allison and John again and we just took in the atmosphere – taking lots of pictures, including tons and tons of rally signs.  The photo gallery below contains my favorites, and here’s a precious video of Allison’s son learning how to dance to an impromptu trash can and bottle drummer.

Click photo to begin "Allison's Son Beginning to Dance."

So what was the point of the rally?  I believe it was, more than anything, simply a demonstration that in a world that sometimes seems to have gone mad, things in reality are pretty normal.  When 250,000 people of all ages, shapes, races, persuasions, and size decide to come together for a celebration of civility our national situation must not be as bad as the TV and radio seem to want us to believe.  As for Jon himself, I’ve concluded that he’s a bit of  Mark Twain character for our generation.  A great author, funny man, and somewhat liberal observer of a mankind.  I’m glad we have him around.

So it was a wonderful weekend.  A nice Ethiopian meal and breakfast at the same Diner capped off the weekend and before I knew it I was flying home happy.  Many thanks to Jon and his 250,000 friends, and to my two friends Allison and John for a great weekend that I’ll never forget.

Let’s finish up with a photo gallery!
Click any image for a larger view, and to enter a slide presentation format.

 

Want even more signs from the rally?
Here’s many more at funnyordie.com

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch: Westerns, Blackberries, and Windfall Profits

This was not the day I was expecting.  My school was closed in honor of Veterans Day.  I woke up at 3:00AM (my usual time), got comfortable, and managed to stay in bed ‘til 7:00AM.  My day had endless possibilities.  I walked around in pajamas, drank coffee, and watched a little TV, but a missed call from my husband plus a voicemail was how I learned that my father-in-law, Chris Allgyer, the reason we get to enjoy this beautiful country life, died in his sleep.  Chris had spent the last five days at home but the previous six weeks in the hospital fighting complications from cancer.

The rest of the day was a whirlwind of tears, visitors, and funeral arrangements.  Even the animals were confused at all of the activity.  One of my indoor cats ran outside and had still not come back in by our bedtime adding to my conflicted emotional state.  I went to bed but did not sleep.

https://mocicc.org/agricultura/hr8obrvvmp Westerns

Chris 1

In 2004 after we sold our house in the city, we moved in with Chris. Selling a house always comes with challenges, but we knew it was the right decision for our future. The trailer was small, but cozy.  Well, not as cozy as it was HOT.  He kept the thermostat at 73 degrees all while running the propane heater in the living room.  I tried to watch Friends reruns, but he insisted on watching anything on the Encore Western channel instead.  Chris loved Western movies.  Gradually, the Westerns grew on me.  I loved the horses and the old-fashioned cowboy attire.  I even consented to watch different versions of the same movie…the old one…. and the really old one.  We continued the “watching Westerns during dinner” tradition even after we moved into our own house.  Most Sunday nights I would cook dinner for Greg and Chris, Chris would complain that I didn’t put enough chicken in whatever we were having (he called it “dragging the chicken through”), and I would find a Western for us to watch during dinner.  After dinner Chris would settle in the big chair, close his eyes, and ask for a blanket.  Our thermostat was not set at 73 degrees.

source Blackberries

One day while I was mowing Chris’s yard, I came across some wild blackberries.  He informed me that he knew about a gold mine of the berries and promised to take me.  The next morning we gathered our buckets and I met him at the tractor.  I stood on the Bush Hog (kids, don’t try this at home) and he drove us down to the corner of his property. We picked pails of blackberries and I made my first blackberry jam and cobbler.  This past summer he was too sick to take me, so while my OSU friend Kim was visiting, I took them both to a nearby blackberry farm.  Kim complained about the thorns and Chris could not breath well enough to get out of the car to help.  Chris, sitting there in the car, reminded me of how he used to sit in his own truck in the shade and take a nap.  The cobbler didn’t taste nearly as sweet as it did the summer before.

https://lpgventures.com/vw1cx0d Windfall Profits

In the summertime, it was often only Chris and I at the ranch.  If I had a little cash on me, I would text Chris and ask him to lunch.  His first question would always be to ask me where I got the money.  My standard answer would be “Don’t worry about it.  I’ve had a windfall profit.”  He always laughed and started calling any amount of cash I had on me a windfall profit. We would try to go to lunch at least once a week or two to the post office in Laconia, TN.  It was one of his favorite places to eat.  For me, not so much, but I would still go and get a little cornbread and green beans while he loaded his plate down with chicken livers, greens, and other country-fried foods.  It didn’t take me long to clean my plate so I could be the first to survey the dessert table and report back the selection.  I’d pay the tab (a total of $8.50 for all-you-can-eat) and we’d head home.  On into the evening he would walk out onto the back porch, turn on the porch light, start up the diesel (I could hear it from my house) and take off for a late night cup of coffee and a lottery ticket.  Before I went to bed I would wait for his headlights to come up his driveway.  If my husband was still awake, I’d simply say, “Dad’s home.”  The truck was parked and the porch light was turned off.

This morning I woke up to find my missing cat scurrying on the porch past the French doors that face Chris’s trailer.  I noticed the porch light at Chris’s still on.  I know the evenings of looking for his headlights coming up the drive are gone and that porch light will stay on until one of us goes up there to turn it off.  Once I let the cat safely in the house, I thought to myself, “Dad’s home.”

Silent Sunday: 11/14/10

Matt Duckworth, drummer for Star Death and White Dwarfs, backstage perspective. Star Death is setting off for another tour this week. Photo printed with permission from Matt.
Oh, it's just deer season in Oklahoma. Red Dirt Kelly grabbed her camera, rolled down her window, drove with her left hand and took the shot with her right hand. Shouldn't these trucks come with some kind of warning sign for passers by? "Warning, dead deer in truck. Those with queasy stomachs, please keep your eyes averted. Thank you."
And, speaking of shooting...100 years ago today, The Daily Oklahoman published a front page article about a county election Chairman declaring that he will NOT resign from his position. Further, he would shoot anyone who crosses the threshold of their office and threatens the sovereignty of the "sacred ballots." He proclaimed, "I have the keys to the boxes in which they are deposited and by the eternal gods I will protect them with my life." Red Dirt Kelly says, "Go, Judge Beall!"
And speaking of "Beale" (not Beall), little "Jesse" (Katie Beth) Beal makes a great Toy Story character for Halloween. Red Dirt Kelly saw no less than six "Jesses" this year, and all of them were great. Lookin' good, Katie Beth!
The Goddard School in Edmond gets creative with a bale of hay. When I walked around to the other side, there was a Jack-o-Lantern face painted on it. One bale of hay, TWO seasonal displays 🙂 Photo by Kelly.
Antique oil cans (jars) from a long-ago service station. Just one of the many sites to see at "The Stables Cafe" in Guthrie, Oklahoma. - Photo by Kelly

 

Poteau Ballon Festival, held Oct 22-23, 2010. Click photo to visit their website.

 

We hear the food at Poteau Balloon Fest is amazing. Mmmm, I can smell the fire, can you? - Click photo to visit the Balloon Fest website.

 

 

Simple Sabbath: My Grandmother’s Memoirs

A few months ago I asked my grandmother whether or not she would be willing to sit down with me, allowing me to conduct interviews with her about her life.  She surprised me by saying she had already written down many of her memories; her son had asked her to do that some time ago.  Weeks later, I saw her at a family dinner and she had a yellow Spiral Mead notebook with her.  On the cover written in ink was, “1988, The Life of Emma Lee Coward Bomgardner, Bennett – Tuttle, Oklahoma.”  She told me she had to look a little while for it, but had found her work.

I took the notebook and let her know I would transcribe what she had written, clean it up a bit, then send it to her for review.  The goal was to then send it out to the family.

Last night I began the task of reading her handwritten notes.  I was surprised at how much information was there and appreciated that her narrative echoed her true voice.  Not many periods, quite a few commas, and no erasing…just, freestyle.

This job is going to take quite a bit of time, but I’ve already decided the rewards will be much greater than the investment.  She began writing at age sixty-six.  Her first memory penned was how her mother took her and her siblings to visit their grandparent’s home.  She said they had to cross a bridge in order to reach their destination and the horse balked at the idea of making the pass.  She recalls being terribly frightened as her mother wrestled with managing the horse, eventually coaxing him across the bridge.

I know that adrenaline helps embed memories, and from reading through these pages I can see how and why she might have recalled and written the stories she did.  I’m about fifteen percent through the transcription, but today after reading the struggles manifested by the Great Depression…I’m very grateful for what we have.

We are certainly a blessed nation and a blessed family.  May God continue to richly bless you and yours.

~Red Dirt Kelly

**1/16/11 Note: “One Voice of the Oklahoma Prairie: My Grandmother’s Memoirs” is now being published.  Check THIS LINK to see the posts each week until they’re finished.

Finding Truth In A Sea of Insanity

Here we are, nine games into this college football season and Mike Gundy has a better record than Bob Stoops.  Raise your hand if you predicted this before the season.  Anyone?  If you do have your hand up, I’m calling you a liar or a massive OSU homer.

I guess I still find it funny that a coach with one loss can be considered brilliant and “having a great year,” but a coach with two losses has suddenly lost his way.  Fans are fickle creatures, and the media only seems to add fuel to the fire.  

Maybe we’re all in need of a little perspective, and as they say in politics, a move to the middle.  A move away from the fringes of the fan bases who either view their coach as the second coming of Vince Lombardi or a no good bum who is slowly ruining their beloved football program all because a national title is out of reach. 

What some fans simply cannot grasp is the impact of players on coaches.  When a team loses or plays poorly, the coach takes the brunt of the criticism.  Does he deserve blame?  Absolutely.  But a coach’s job is to put his players in a position to succeed.  Then, it’s up to those players to execute as they’ve been taught.

Stoops' championships are quickly forgotten when the Sooners are struggling. (courtesy dixiefriedsports.com)

Take the Sooners for example.  Is it Bob Stoops’ fault when Landry Jones can’t catch a snap that hits him in the hands?  Is Stoops on the hook for Jones’ overthrow of Kenny Stills on what could have been an easy six for Oklahoma?  Didn’t Stoops dial up the perfect fake field goal call?  Should James Hanna’s inability to catch a perfectly thrown football come back to Stoops?  Of the course the answer is no on all accounts.  I think sometimes we shy away from criticizing college athletes because they aren’t paid and these coaches are making millions.  I know these kids are playing their hearts out and I would never question their will to win.  But let’s remember, most of the coach’s job takes place Sunday through Friday, and when Saturday rolls around, it’s time for the players to do their job.

Two years ago Oklahoma offensive coordinator Kevin Wilson was the man behind one of the greatest offensive juggernauts in school history.  The Sooners put up 50 or more points in nine games and led the country in scoring offense.  Sam Bradford was number one in the nation in passing efficiency and OU scored touchdowns on 85-percent of its trips to the red zone. 

Has Kevin Wilson lost the ability to coach offense, or are his players simply not getting the job done? (courtesy neilcornrich.com)

Was Kevin Wilson a genius two years ago who suddenly forgot how to coach?  It sounds that way if you listen to the Sooner Nation.  To some clad in crimson, Wilson is predictable, unimaginative, and washed up.  Yes, I agree Wilson could have shown some creativity down near the goal line in OU’s loss to Texas A&M.  But is it a bad play call to hand the ball to Demarco Murray inside the one yard line?  How many times has that play resulted in a touchdown for the Sooners?  It just so happens that this time around, the offensive line got no push and got blown off the ball by the Aggies defensive front.  Is that Wilson’s fault? 

I’m pleading for some perspective here, please.  When are fans going to wake up and realize, “You know what, maybe this team just isn’t as talented as we thought before the season started.”  DING! DING! DING!  Congratulations on entering the world of sanity!  

Gundy is enjoying one of his best seasons in Stillwater, his Cowboys are 8-1 and take on Texas this Saturday. (courtesy espn.com)

Now that we’re all feeling liberated, maybe we can also admit that Oklahoma State has far more talent than anyone realized.  Mike Gundy is a very good football coach and he’s doing a fantastic job in Stillwater, but guess what?  His players are making plays at crucial moments of every ballgame.  Gundy and his staff have recruited well, and they’ve put their players in a position to win.  Right now, the Cowboys are executing better than the Sooners.  Brandon Weeden is already mature because he’s 83 years old (actually 27), but with every game, he’s growing up as a quarterback.  No Dez Bryant?  No big deal.  Justin Blackmon is filling his shoes rather nicely.  Kendall Hunter is the back he’s always been, and the unsung heroes of this OSU season are the big boys on the offensive line.  They’re creating space for Hunter and time for Weeden.  So is Gundy all of a sudden some kind of genius?  No, but his players are making him look like one.

Justin Gent forced a fumble in the last minute against Troy to preserve a 41-38 OSU victory.  With Texas A&M driving for the winning score, Shaun Lewis intercepted a pass to set up Dan Bailey’s game winning field goal.  Johnny Thomas returned a pick for a touchdown in the fourth quarter at K-State, a play that blew the game wide open and allowed the Pokes to earn another road win.  The right plays at the right time.  OSU is getting them, OU isn’t.

For a heavier dose of perspective, consider the fact that the Sooners and Cowboys can still play for a conference championship.  Both teams have the chance to end up in a BCS bowl.  No, it’s not a national title, but it’s still better than 95-percent of the programs in the country. 

Stoops and Gundy will accept the criticism and they will also deflect blame away from the players because that’s just the kind of men they are.  Both will admit they don’t do everything right.  Stoops desperately needs to find someone who can kick a 30-yard field goal, and he needs to find a way to inspire passion in his team when it leaves the confines of Memorial Stadium.  Gundy must find a way to keep his team improving on the defensive side of the ball, and turn this recent success into lasting success.  Both men are outstanding football coaches even if their stock seems to be heading in different directions.  So before we go thinking that a loss makes a coach an idiot and win makes a coach infallible, let’s realize that the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

Friday Morning Shout Out: Tippin’ Our Hat to “Old Hat Creative”

Norman-based Old Hat (OH) Creative is a sports ad agency.  Their mission is to tell the stories of their clients, and tell them well.  And if you visit their OH website, you could probably park your hiney in a chair for the next few hours because they’ve created enough cool content to keep anyone entertained for a good long while.

But there is a difference when you see their story in person.

If you review their website, you get the impression of energy, humor, sharp and creative individuals who take their work very seriously.  Okay – maybe there are similarities between the online and in-person story.

If you review their website you get the impression that the team is cohesive, that they really care about their clients, their craft, about learning and growing…and about performing together as a well-oiled and evolving system, willing to take risks and think without boundaries.  Okay, this is getting silly…those messages are clear when you visit them in person as well. Those who are also planning to build a new website for their business or organization may hire a memphis web design expert to achieve a design that represents their brand.

Damn, their website is pretty good at telling their story!

Tracie Hitz and Walter Colindres pose with Lil’ Duey, the Old Hat Creative mascot. Visit Duey’s webiste page for more on this travels, arch enemies and lifestyle.

So what can we add for you this morning?  Perhaps a third dimension of warmth, of genuine regard for each other as a team. And of the dichotomy between a screaming football stadium of fans where their ads may be running on the big screen compared to the pristine quiet when you walk into their office – all their professionals working on iMacs with headphones on, completely focused on their task at hand.

I spoke to Tracie Hitz, their Director of Business Development, this week and she talked about why she moved from Illinois to Oklahoma in order to join OH.  She said that the Chicago area is filled with ad agencies, and a sub-group of sports ad agencies…that it’s a fast paced and challenging life, and fits the image of what you might hope to have working in their industry.  At the same time, however, she related that working for the Northwestern University athletic department was – in a sense – an established system with very little room for creative influence in terms of their mission or direction.  They already were how they were going to be.

When Tracie moved here, she got two things.  The ability to contribute and influence the way OH was developing – she said that founder Zac Logsdon listens to her ideas, considers them and frequently she’ll see them implemented.  And, she got “settled down,” a sense of stability and permanence of community.  When I listened to her “two things,” I thought… “Well, that’s Oklahoma.  Creative and homey.”  But it’s certainly OH as well.

Old Hat’s “living room,” AKA their reception area.

And perhaps that’s the thing we can tell you about when wrapping up our shout out this morning.  When you walk into the OH “living room,” it feels comfortable.  When you talk with their staff, they are friendly and inviting…and funny.  And when you think about their website information as a whole, you get the sense that the team is a family.

I spoke to a Norman resident Wednesday night and mentioned I had visited OH and he perked up, “Yeah, they’re making waves around town!”

“Good waves?” I asked, “What kind of waves?”

“They’re well-respected, over-achievers…a really good thing,” he replied.

So, maybe that’s the rest of the story.  A creative family of overachieving professionals who make good waves in their community….but you can get that from their website too.  And their Twitter account.  And their Facebook page.

And…you can get the chance to win a ‘Lil Duey T-Shirt and an OH hat just by Tweeting this article (see icon below), or visiting the new RDC Twitter account and mentioning us.  Just Tweet a message and “@RDChronicles” today, and we’ll enter you in the drawing…and contact you tomorrow if you won.

Here’s to you, Old Hat – we’re “tipping our RDC hat” to you and yours.  All the best!

***

Editor’s Note:  I was a high school drama teacher for eight years.  OH Founder, Zac Logsdon, was one of my former students.  He and his wife Jill played the leads (mother and father) in our first off-site play, “Cheaper by the Dozen.”  It’s interesting that now it seems they are sort of the mother and father of a dozen or so children at OH, all of whom are very special people...warms my heart to see them doing what they’re doing.

 

 

Step One: Haul My Saddlebags to the Wellness Center

(For “Hitting Bottom – Saddlebags First Entry, go here.) I took it as a good omen.  I pulled up to the Oklahoma State University Seretean Wellness Center and standing majestically next to the entrance were trees just bursting with fall color.

I took it as a good omen because I was looking for anything to hold on to, and fall foliage would do just as well as…oh, say…the parking meter I was fumbling with.  I was on my way to an appointment I had set with the coordinator of personal training.  I already feared this woman and I had never even met her.

As I neared the entrance, I glanced at the wall, paused and then stopped to read:

Okay, fine.  Rub it in.  Use deep words, philosophically crafted to reach down into my literature loving soul and say to me things that I didn’t want to hear because they were so perfect.  Ugh.  Wow.  Deep breath.  Okay. I pulled open the door and went in.

Kip, the student attendant at the front desk, was nice, made a joke and continued to make this horrible visit as pleasant as possible.  “What is wrong with you people!?” I thought.  “I’m trying to be sullen and all scared here, okay?”  I didn’t even have time to sit in the waiting area and get anxious.  Within two minutes, Joanna was bounding up the stairs with a smile on her face as well.  “Don’t look her in the eye,” I continued to tell myself.  “This experience has to be bad because I’ve built it up to be – – do NOT submit to her powers.”

Everything after that moment was a blur.  Joanna started asking me what my goals were, what barriers were in my life preventing me from achieving these goals, and writing what I said down.  “Stop it – don’t write it down!”…I continued my panicked thinking, “If you write it down then it will be real!”  She looked at me and smiled again. [Cripes! Smiles everywhere!]  Some external force took over my body and made me answer her questions, made me fill out a form and sign a membership, and made me commit to twelve sessions – to be completed at least twice per week.  “…And we’ll reassess your goals then…to see if you’re ready to crank it up another level to three sessions per week.  You really need to exercise intensely for 150 minutes per week if you want to burn calories and get in shape….”  In addition to exercise, you may also need to make some changes in your diet and eating habits. Incorporating food supplements from NativePath into your diet can provide your nutritional needs without derailing your fitness journey.

http://www.mscnantes.org/mbz8kqh8 150 minutes per week-week-week-week-week. The words were echoing in my head like someone had played around with a sound system in the building intercom system.

I don’t even know what that means.  I was looking at her but I was thinking, “Maybe if I run really fast she won’t catch me.  Even in these high-heeled boots, I’ll bet I could give her a good run for the money.”  Then I looked at her.  She was petite, in great physical shape, was wearing one of those stop-clock watches and had a determined set to her jaw.  I think her jaw was more determined than mine.  I gave in…right there in my head I knew she was living what she was talking about and I needed to listen to her.

“Okay,” I replied.  “I guess I’m ready to go ahead and set up my schedule.  And, oh – hey, I’m writing about this experience on my blog.  Would you mind if I took your picture?”

A very brief but real look of surprise and possible fear crossed her face.  “A blog?  Um, what kind of blog?  Is it – is it local?”  She hadn’t agreed to the photo yet, and all of a sudden there was a slight change in that determined jaw.

I relaxed.  She was human…just like me.  “Well, it’s just a group of friends and we write about different things around Oklahoma and about Red Dirt country.  I wrote an entry about how I needed to get in shape and I’m going to be following up with my progress – – how things go.  I’m kind of scared about it.”  Then, she relaxed.

She and Kip posed, the camera flashed, and I walked out the door.

Joanna and Kip. Nice people at the Wellness Center.

I had no idea a little tiny Canon camera could be that powerful.  And, I start next Tuesday morning.

I looked at the trees as I walked out, re-read the quote on the wall, and smiled.  “Okay, this is going to be horrible.  And, I guess I’m okay with that,” I said to myself.  Then me and my saddlebags walked back to my car and drove back to work.

Next time? I almost puke:  “Shaking the Saddlebags, Part #1.

Chicken Soup for the Blogaholic’s Soul

In casual conversation, I am likely to mention treatment options for Kate, Bowen, or Jessie, or how the Stone family is doing these days.  What you won’t know, however, is that I don’t actually KNOW these people, at least in the traditional sense.  You see, I follow blogs…lots of them.

Most of my favorite blogs were created in times of tragedy or in response to a medical crisis. I often have to steel myself to click the links, as these posts certainly aren’t mindless reads.  My heart seizes at the news of an agonizing decision to be made and I regularly shed tears over the unfathomable experiences of these families.  They are desperately reaching out for help and support, and I find myself magnetically drawn to them.

Some find my hobby a bit morbid and wonder why I torture myself by actively taking on the pain and grief of strangers.  While the subject matter is indeed difficult, the rewards are many.  First, however, I have to get past being a selfish human.  Just like many children create imaginary friends who have problems – fear of the dark, aggression, etc. – as a safe way to talk about newfound issues, I think reading about the sad and tragic side of life helps me process emotions about my own worst fears.  However, in acknowledging the really hard realities of life, I sometimes develop the “I’m glad it’s them and not me” syndrome.  I have to squelch those thoughts so that I can focus on the people and their needs, and not just the fears their stories evoke.

As a result, I can attest to the tremendous beauty and inspiration that often rises from the ashes of tragedy and helplessness.  I am refreshed by the way in which I can touch and be touched by people’s hearts across so much distance.  The written word is incredibly honest, heartfelt, and the authors are completely transparent.  In a world where the truth is often buried beneath layers of you know what, reading something so raw and heartfelt is meaningful.

When I stop the whirlwind of life to catch up on these families, I feel a renewed sense of faith in humanity.  I admire the strength that resonates from their words and I deeply hope that I would have equal fortitude in their shoes.  As strong as they are, they are also at their most vulnerable, and this allows them to put on paper the thoughts that most people could never speak.  I think this is a strong connection point for me personally given that I’ve always been better at expressing myself in writing than in face-to-face conversations.

Part of that ability is simply dissociating from what the world expects me to be or say, and simply writing what I feel without the risk of immediate and sometimes awkward reactions.  I love real, but being entirely real is usually the exception and not the rule.

Finally, in addition to the gift of inspiration I receive from these blogs, they also provide me the opportunity to give back in a profound way.  I’m not a doctor, so I can’t heal the sick.  I’m not a millionaire, so I can’t offer riches to fund medical treatments.  However, as a woman of faith, I can add my voice to those interceding on behalf of precious families who need guidance, hope, and strength beyond what they can muster on their own.  I believe firmly in the power of prayer and that giving away my heart and prayers, whether to close friends or virtual strangers, simply expands my capacity to do so over and over again.

It’s only fitting that I include information on a few of my favorite blogs, and I encourage you to post a comment with additional links.  There’s nothing like a shared bowl of chicken soup to warm us all up!

http://renziandleeannestone.blogspot.com/ – Oklahoma City couple Lee Anne and Renzi Stone lost their almost one year old son to a sudden epileptic seizure.  They honor little Isaiah by sharing their daily challenges and joys.

http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ – Angie is the wife of Selah singer Todd Smith.  While expecting, Todd and Angie were told their daughter had many life threatening conditions and would not survive outside the womb.  Her book, “I Will Carry You,” details their experience and utter reliance on God to make it through to the other side.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate – Kate McRae is a six-year-old Arizona girl living with a very rare form of brain cancer.  Her mother writes regularly about treatment options, highs and lows, and specific prayer requests.

http://www.carepages.com/carepages/JessicaBoone – Oklahoma teenager Jessie Boone suffered massive head trauma during a ski accident last year.  Her mother chronicles the numerous touch-and-go moments, months in hospitals and Jessie’s current journey.

http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/ – Kelly is an Arkansas gal who began writing when doctors said her newborn wasn’t expected to live.  After a difficult beginning, she now has a healthy and happy daughter and another on the way.  Having also suffered infertility for many years, she is an inspiration to those women desperately hoping for a baby.

http://bowensheart.com/ – Matt Hammett is the lead singer of the Christian band Sanctus Real.  Their son, Bowen, has a severely underdeveloped heart.  They are journaling their experience and sharing the love of God through their words and stories.

Stories Written in Blood

by Josh Bottomly

Not long ago my wife, Amy, posted a picture of my night stand on her blog.

It was a picture of the books propped up on my stand.

From left to right.

Tim Keller’s The Reason for God.

Abraham Heschel’s God in Search of Man.

C.S. Lewis’s Quotables.

Eugene Petersons translation of the Bible, The Message.

And, N.T. Wright’s Matthew for Everyone.

An anonymous blogger saw this picture and posed this question directly to me (and indirectly to all Christians):

Why do so many Christians just read Christian books?

My first mental response was of course immature, arrogant, condescending, and reactionary:

How dare you try and pigeonhole!  I peruse the Fiction and Literature section at Barnes and Noble more frequently than I do the Spiritual Devotion section.

I have a undergraduate and graduate degree in English literature.

You name a classic or contemporary author, and I’ll bet I have studied him or her.  Shakespeare.  Check.  O’ Connor.  Check.  Camus.  Check.  Kerouac.  Check.

But later, after I had calmed down, I sat down to think a bit about that anonymous person’s question.  It’s an appropriate question, really.  And it was probably not meant to stir up conflict. But conversation.

So after some reflection, this is how I responded to this blogger.

Simply put: I’m interested in reading any story that is written in blood.

Take East of Eden by John Steinbeck, for example. Now that’s a book written in blood. Who of us hasn’t felt an acute sense of displacement? It’s not that we are living in the wrong place; just the wrong way. Or Cormac McCarthy’s The Road.  I’ve got a son now and the thought of dying for Silas – not a iota of fear. But the thought of Silas having to live beyond my dying love – nothing but fear.

Any story then that struggles with what it means to be human, what it means to walk upright in a bent world, what it means to live within tensions and questions and doubts – that’s a story I want to read and participate in because it is written in the author’s blood. Whether it is written by a Christian. Or agnostic. Or atheist. Or Buddhist. Or Muslim.  Because all truth is God’s truth.  And part of the theology of common grace includes the animating belief that when we tell the truth about our experience of being human, regardless of our “worldview” or religious belief system, somehow, in some mysterious way, a “gleam of the evengelium”, as J.R.R. Tolkien argued, shines through.

J.R.R. Tolkein, smoking his famous pipe.

So I pose this contagion of questions for you to ponder – Christian or not:

What books have you read that are written in blood?

What stories have spoken and resonated with your deepest humanity?

What narratives have shaped the way you understand the narrative we live in?

No doubt, I’m always looking for a good read. And by good, I mean a story where the author simply has the courage as Fredrick Buechner puts it,  to “open a vein.”

RDC Facebook Profile Creativity Giveaway: Winners!

If you head on over to our Red Dirt Chronicles Facebook page, you’ll see a little note announcing the winners of our “most creative profile piccy” contest.  The winner was announced last night and will receive a $50 Lowe’s gift card.  Here’s winner Steve Huhn’s profile photo:

Steve Huhn, "Slappin' da Bass." Steve plays with Gypsy Twang as well as Adam Lopez & the Lo Tops

And, just for fun, our RDC photographer put together her own FB profile photo.  Of course, we couldn’t give her a prize, but we WILL give her a little shout out.  Here’s “Red Dirt Racie (prounced Rassy).”  Love it!

RDC Photographer - "Red Dirt Racie"

We’ve got more promotions coming up soon, so make sure the “like” our Facebook page!

Have a great lunch break,

The Red Dirt Chronicles Team

Real Men and Picking up the Tab

Men eating dinner while aboard the Atlantic Clipper. (Photo by Bernard Hoffman//Time Life Pictures/Getty Images)

When dining out at a restaurant with another person or group of people, a real man is just as likely to pick up the tab for the people he’s with as he is to graciously accept someone else’s offer to pay. A real man doesn’t argue over who’s going to pay. He either pays for his own meal, pays for both his and the other party’s, or if the other party attempts to pay for his meal, accepts their offer without making a fuss.

There’s no middle ground here.

There’s nothing masculine about arguing with another person over who gets to pick up the check after dining out. It’s like dancing. When it comes time to settle the check, the first person to speak is the one who gets to lead. If you’re the first to speak, then you get to lead. If not, just go where the other party takes you without stepping on their toes.

This really is a finer (and in many ways lost) art of manhood, I think. To continue with the dancing metaphor, it’s the difference between looking like a couple of junior high kids at the 8th grade sweetheart dance and Gene Kelly. The latter pulls it off with grace and style while the former just fumble around the floor trying not to let their hands fall below the predetermined, chaperone-approved line on their partner’s back.

The next time you’re out to dinner with another person, either pick up the tab, pay for your own meal, or graciously let them pay if they offer before you speak. Don’t try to appear chivalrous by going back and forth with them only to fold a few seconds letter with the same end result.

I learned this from my dad who likes to pick up the tab for other people. I’ve seen him pick up the tab over and over again throughout my life and I’ve rarely seen another man accept it without resorting to the obligatory give and take, back and forth debate before letting him actually pay. I’m not sure, but these types of scenarios may even offend my dad. At the very least, whether it offends him or not, the men who dicker back and forth with him about it just end up looking silly… at least in my humble opinion. And yet, on those occasions where I’ve seen other people offer to pay for my dad’s meal, I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed him argue with them. He just rolls with it… usually.

I mean, think about it, what’s at stake here? At most (if you’re at a fancy place like Taco Cabana or some other swanky joint like Sizzler or Jack in the Box) we’re talking $50 to $100 maximum. In the grand scheme of life, being able to pick up a $50 or $100 tab, while generous, is not necessarily some great feat of manhood. In fact, just about any dude with a credit card has the ability to do this at will.

Just as picking up the tab for others doesn’t make a man more masculine, the converse is also true. Letting another man pick up your tab when he asks to does not make you any less of man. It’s not like the man who offers to pay your tab thinks you can’t afford the $50. If he thought you couldn’t afford to pick up your own tab, he wouldn’t have invited you to the Taco Cabana. He would have invited you to Taco Mayo, where even the poorest man can eat like a king.

The man who offers to pick up your tab is doing so out of a spirit of generosity. And if there’s anything I’ve learned in my brief stint as a professional raiser of funds, it’s to let people who want to be generous, BE GENEROUS.

Well… now that I’ve beat this issue to a pulp, I only have one other thing to say in relation to picking up the tab. No matter who pays, NEVER EVER skimp on the tip. There’s nothing that screams, “I am not a real man!” any louder than leaving a lame tip.

15% is the standard so unless your waiter or waitress is just a complete jerk, never leave less than that. In fact, in keeping with the generosity theme, if your service is half-way decent and the person serving you is even half-way friendly, why not leave a 20% tip and make their day?

The next time you dine with someone else and they offer to pay for your meal, all you need to do is respond with a simple and authentic THANK YOU. Instead of putting up the obligatory and, in most cases, contrived fight, just make a mental note of the occasion, enjoy the rest of the meal, and the next time you dine with that person, remember to take the lead and offer to pay for their tab before they have a chance to speak.

Hitting BOTTOM: Relationship Issues With My “Saddlebags”

I’ll be 48 years old in four weeks, I wear a women’s size 12, my dress shoe size is 7 and I weigh between 149-151 pounds every morning I check the scales.

In other words, I’m middle-aged, wear a middle-sized clothes, mid-range footwear and am in the middle of the 100 and 200 pound mark on the scales.  And, I’ve run out of excuses.  Here are the excuses, reasons or “logical thoughts” I’ve used for the past year to avoid a healthier lifestyle:

  1. I’m busy.
  2. I have a hard time prioritizing between my academic life and my personal life.
  3. The time with my husband and children are more important than exercising.
  4. I’m smaller than some of my friends.
  5. I’m smaller than my husband.
  6. I’m smaller than some of my family members.
  7. If I were really okay with my own self-image then it wouldn’t matter.
  8. I’ll start when I’m done with my Ph.D.
  9. I’ll start tomorrow.
  10. I’ll start on Monday.
  11. If my faith were stronger I wouldn’t be struggling so much.
  12. If I balance out the fat and sugar I’m consuming with all this good home-cooked food, then at least I’m getting the vitamins I need.
  13. My husband, children and family still love me regardless of my physical fitness.
  14. It’s my job’s fault.  It’s my fault.  It’s my genetics’ fault…

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve become a fan of The Pioneer Woman blog.  I’m checking in on Ree and her adventures about two or three times per week now, and she’s no longer coming between me and my husband.  One day she was writing about food and wrote parenthetically, “Lord, help my saddlebags.”

I'm walking around with two of these strapped permanently on my thighs. Click photo to buy one for your horse.

I started thinking about the saddlebag metaphor, referencing her hips as a body part with which she struggles.  That’s how I feel right now.  I feel weighted down from being my normal, energetic self.  I feel like I’m carrying around a load that I can’t unhitch.  So, I did just a few minutes of research and found this link explaining to the trail rider about Horse Saddle Bags: Packing For Success.

The information on their page is crystal clear.  Saddle bags are for packing a work load, but should be removed once the job is done.  They’re not to be worn 24 hours a day.  They also had some extremely deep information I related to myself when considering a saddle-bag purchase:

  1. Horse’s (Kelly’s) size
  2. Horse’s (Kelly’s…you get the picture) conditioning
  3. Horse’s build (conformation)
  4. Horse’s attitude
  5. Horse’s age
  6. Saddle size, fit and weight
  7. Saddle’s ability to distribute weight
  8. Rider’s weight and experience
  9. Saddlebag design and fit
  10. Distance of ride and type of terrain
  11. Weather (esp. heat and humidity)

In other words, you only buy the gear and load up the animal with what they can take, what type of horse it is, and what kind of ride you’re going to make.

I sat there with my permanent, oversized, weighted down saddle bags reading that article and thought: “This is it.”  In my relationship with myself, I have to help myself.  I can’t blame anyone, anything, any time…it’s up to me.

The only time I want to wear saddlebags is when I’m hiking a trail, or when I’m using real ones on a real horse for a real-life trail ride.

This past summer I began a running program and was successful at keeping it up in Oxford until I came back to Oklahoma.  But I can’t blame Oklahoma.  All I can do is realize that the only person who can help this situation is me.

What am I going to do?  One of two things.  I have a former student who now owns a fitness company.  I’m going to call him and explore that option.  I work at a University that emphasizes health all the time.  I’m going to explore that option.  Then I’m going to decide, face my fears, perhaps get rid of a scheduling obligation or two, and get started.  I’m scared, I don’t WANT to do this, but I really want to feel like myself again.

I’ll let you know how it goes ~ Red Dirt Kelly

Also…this is the photo of what’s sitting right in front of me on my desk.  Which do you think I need to find a new home for?

Water? Kisses? Which one needs to find a new home?

Check out the next entry in my “Saddlebags Saga”…that is, if you have the stomach for it!

Stockyards City Cookbook Cook-Through: Cowboy Caviar!

Not exactly fish eggs…much better! I am a hairstylist and any excuse we can find to bring food to the salon we jump at. The day before Halloween we all dressed up and had a pot luck. I have to say I don’t think I have ever seen that much food in one place before! I knew from the past that its best to take something that can easily be snacked on in-between clients. Everyone at work “jokingly” calls me Betty Crocker; little do they know it’s really not as hard as it looks!

Flipping through the cookbook I looked for a recipe that had ingredients that I might already have at home. I finally decided on Cowboy Caviar. It definitely doesn’t look too pretty, if you’re a presentation person, but sure does taste good! (Friends at work turned their noses up at first but by the end of the day it was gone!) This is a very simple recipe if you need something last minute. Also, if you are following through the cookbook with us and cooking most of these items I would suggest buying a large bag of shredded cheese and a box of cream cheese from Sams. It will save you time and money, both of which I know we can all use these days!

https://danivoiceovers.com/8ay2ekcs Cowboy Caviar

by Tracy Holland

1 can black beans, rinsed and drained

1 (8oz) pkg. cream cheese, softened

2 cans chopped black olives

2 T. oil

2 T. lime juice ( I cut one lime in half and squeezed the juice from it into the mix)

1/4 tsp. ground cumin

1/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper

Combine beans, olives, oil, lime juice and spices. Let sit 2 hours. Spread cream cheese on a plate and top with bean mixture. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Happy Cooking!

Whitni

Editor’s Note – Want to see the other recipe’s Whitni and Jani have prepared from the cookbook thus far?  Simply go to our “Categories” section on the right hand of our home page, and use the drop down selector to find “Stockyards City Cookbook.”

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch: Get Your Roof On With Rusty Hilger

So my husband and I are building this barn, right?  And it’s really going pretty well thanks to our family and friends who have sacrificed some Saturdays and our two friends Trial and Error who are there every day.   The posts are in the ground and the trusses are up. Weather elements such as wind could affect any roofing or construction project. To protect your construction site from such elements, you may install wind fences from WeatherSolve.

It’s not that I don’t trust my husband’s judgment, but I just wanted to talk to an expert; enter former Oklahoma State University and NFL quarterback Rusty Hilger.

Rusty Hilger, today
After a successful college and NFL football career, Rusty is again leading his team in the home construction industry.

see url Julie: https://onlineconferenceformusictherapy.com/2025/02/22/hkwg3qofb How did you get into the construction industry?

 

follow link Rusty: I had just turned 16 in the summer of 1978 and I needed a way to pay for my first pickup truck. Trust me, it wasn’t much of a truck, but the $2.00 per hour I was earning at the local skating rink was no longer an option. South Oklahoma City was growing and new construction was everywhere. My truck and I got a job with a local homebuilder cleaning and organizing home sites prior to the final landscaping. In the summer of 1979, I worked for a roofing company and roofed my first house. During college, I worked summer construction jobs in Oklahoma City, Stillwater, and Tulsa for 3 different OSU Alumni. In 1985, an NFL career put my construction career on hold until 1990, when we undertook a four-month project to remodel and re-open the old Split-T restaurant in OKC. After retirement from the NFL in 1992, a career in construction seemed natural.

How To Get Tramadol Online Uk Julie: What kind of roof system is best suited for Oklahoma residents?

 

go here Rusty: Sooner or later (strike that; sorry Pistol Pete) at some point, most roof shoppers ask this simple question. First of all, the best roofing system for Oklahoma is not really a roof system at all. The best roofing system is actually “Full Replacement Cost” insurance with a $500 dollar deductible.  Why? Since January of 2008, according to the National Weather Service, we have had more than 140 days of severe hail measuring 3/4” or larger in Oklahoma. In May of 2010, the hailstones were so large they came through the roof and into the home in some neighborhoods. No roof system will withstand these conditions and it is only a matter of time before it happens at your home. Many of our clients have replaced their roofing systems twice within the past 3 years. Check your policy or contact your agent for details. If you don’t have Full Replacement Cost insurance, get it!

https://alldayelectrician.com/8s0c40pr Julie:  Winter is on its way.  Do you have any advice regarding protection from Oklahoma ice?

 

Tramadol Online Cash On Delivery Rusty: Protection against ice dams is required at eaves wherever the January average temperature is 25*F or lower or where there is a possibility of ice forming in the eaves. From Kansas to the North Pole this product is required as code. In Oklahoma it is an option, yet Oklahoma ice storms and snow create problems if this product is not used. It creates a 100% watertight seal that keeps water out at the most vulnerable areas of your roof (at the eaves and rakes, in valleys, around chimneys, pipes, etc.).

https://dcinematools.com/ki4h7z2 Julie: What is the biggest mistake that home owners make regarding roof upkeep or maintenance?

 

Rusty:  With the exception of storm damage, the weakest link in any roofing system remains the pipes sticking up through the roof. Most pipes are made of PVC and the pipe jack is a rubber-like material used to seal around the pipe. This rubber-like material will deteriorate over time at a faster rate than the shingles. The pipes should be checked every year and a special roofing silicone should be used to ensure a watertight seal.

see url Julie: What do you love the most about Oklahoma?

 

https://geolatinas.org/evww7jjbx3u Rusty: Oklahomans are committed to the values important to me: God, family, friends, and football!. I was born and raised in Oklahoma City and attended Oklahoma State University before being drafted by the Los Angeles Raiders in 1985. I loved the time I spent in Manhattan Beach, Ca; Birmingham (Detroit) MI; Seattle, WA; Indianapolis, IN; Dallas, TX; and Nassau, Bahamas. Although these are some terrific cities, none of them compare to the down-home family lifestyle and attitude of our neighbors here in the great state of Oklahoma.

Tramadol 100Mg Online Overnight Julie:  If anyone has more questions about roof replacement, how can they contact you?

Rusty Hilger, #12
Rusty has lots of great information to share about protecting your home.

Rusty: If you have questions, send an email to contact@oklahomaroofing.net or call anytime at 405.227.9689.

Wow! Rusty had some great information to share.  The most surprising to me was that we both spent time on roofs in the 70’s!  If you want to know more about that, contact me.  If you need to know more about getting a new roof, you need to contact Rusty.Thanks to Rusty for sharing his expertise with me….and now with you!  Happy building!

A Rare Not-So-Silent Sunday (Updated Sunday Night)

Our faith writer, Lamar Jackson, is having a beautiful vacation with his family on a cruise ship somewhere in the Caribbean.  I’m filling in for him and decided to post a Simple Sabbath thought on Sunday, breaking our normal “Silent Sunday” framework.

I’ve recently become vaguely aware of the The Geneva-based World Council of Churches (WCC) and the Lausanne movement.  The Economist published an article on October 28th about the history of their purpose, struggles with mission and most recent progress in Cape Town.  I’ll be posting thoughts this afternoon about my perspective on this article, the history and movement, and what it means for Christians in our geographic area.

Until then, I hope you have a wonderful Sunday – silent, or not.  Prefacing my post this afternoon, I’m going to share a Bible verse with you.  The last two phrases have given me food for thought regarding this particular subject and I’ll begin with them.

7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; https://lpgventures.com/4grdd4hxth9 if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. ~ Romans 13:7

https://www.marineetstamp.com/e18esncs ** Sunday evening follow-up.

So, it’s not “the afternoon,” but rather the evening.  I found my words for this article harder to write than I had anticipated.

I’ve struggled, as a Christian, for the past ten years or so with what seems to me to be an escalation of Christian persecution in our country, as well as persecution of others by Christians.  Difficult to define my emotions, I suppose I would say that it appears some sort of negative quid pro quo has been taking place…through the media, through various Christian groups, and recently through social networking groups.

I’ve been mortified at times by messages I see posted by those I know to be Christians on Facebook toward ethnic groups or minorities.  The same is true toward those who put forth a political view different from views held by those making the responses.  At the same time, I’ve seen a new pervasiveness in the media of cartoons making fun of Christian views, and political pundits turn downright nasty when making statements about Christian beliefs.  It’s been hard to see destruction, rather than common ground and relationship-building.

I recall one day I read a statement written by someone about an article discussing spirituality and the words were so incredibly harsh I began to cry.

But then I heard the story about a gentleman who had been an Al Qaeda operative, who when released from Guantanamo, went back to his homeland and rejoined the terrorists.  However, he changed his mind, turned them in and averted an explosion – thus saving lives.  I also read the Economist article I noted above.  I can see hope of shifts; I see various Christian groups (even some of our missionaries in our own church) joining hands with other religions including Muslims and making a difference in international communities.

I see these things and I am encouraged.  I also read these Bible verses and am encouraged as well:

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e] (Meaning…you leave him/her to decide how to respond or think about the situation, not that you “Make” them feel guilty. – RDK)

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. ~ Romans 12:14-21

So I suppose that my Not-So-Silent Sunday thought for our normal “Simple Sabbath” message is this: Be gentle, be respectful, be compassionate, be loving…to all those you meet as best as you can.  A loving human is more powerful than anything else I’ve ever come in contact with…show your power this week, okay?

All the best, Red Dirt Kelly

I Love Logan County and Here Are The Reasons Why

My drive from the Oklahoma State (OSU) v. Baylor game this afternoon to Guthrie provided the best hour of my week.  You KNOW that’s saying a great deal since I’m such a huge OSU fan – and we beat the pants off Baylor today.  Mick and I had driven to the game separately because I had an early appointment this morning, and then I left after the third quarter because I tend to get antsy when I sit still for a very long period of time.  He stayed ’till the glorious end of that fine, fine game.

Don’t doubt my team loyalties, though…I DID listen to the game on the radio through the very last play.

I was on a mission.  Pick up a bucket of chlorine treatment tablets for our aerobic septic system. We have to buy one about every eighteen months.  No one carries the product within a 50 square mile area of our house except the Ace Hardware in Guthrie.  I would not fail; I would accomplish my goal and meet my hubby back at home.

But then I got sidetracked.  I saw another hay truck and it was broken down on the side of the interstate.  I had to go take pictures!  The driver and his daughter were from Apache and she had brought tools to the site so he could make repairs.  I just wanted to get close to the load on that truck and smell the hay!  They good-naturedly agreed.  So, stop one in Logan county…broken down hay truck.  I REALLY wish I could provide you with the scent of that beautiful cut hay aroma filling my lungs while I snapped away.

Mmmmm. Can you smell the hay?
Well, here. Stick your face in it. Maybe that will help. Breathe deep!

I thanked the driver and his daughter, turned around, and saw some cows in a pen I thought might need their family portraits taken.  So I provided that service, free of charge.

It was dusty in the pen! I told them to look at the camera and smile. But, you know how it goes...always a trouble-maker in the bunch.
I tried to work with this family, but Dad kept trying to get Junior to stand up straight. Junior didn't want to cooperate. The girls on the right had just fixed their hair and weren't about to mess it up by moving around.
I was just about to leave when this poor dear ran up to me and asked for a Kleenex. I fixed her right up, and then went on my way.

I headed down the highway, got off on Highway 33, and drove into Guthrie.  Before reaching the hardware store, I stopped to walk around a bit.  I noticed two things on my stroll.  1) There are lots of American flags hanging from the homes and businesses there; and, 2) if it weren’t for the cars, the calendar could easily have been somewhere between November, 1880 and 1950.

Five flags between the three houses.
I love their brick streets!
If we're pretending, I get the top corner bedroom with the three windows!
J.M. Williams would like for you to come to "The Willows" Gallery of Fine Fits and Home Decor and buy some teapots. I like their quilts!
Guthrie, Oklahoma - a place where the barber pole still beacons you for a haircut.
I like muscle cars. This one has a challenge to the highway patrol on his bumper.

Next stop, Ace Hardware (OHC Supply).  I appreciate this place for all the reasons you’re getting ready to see.  I love the Tractor Supply Store in Edmond, but I think I love this place almost as much.

They flew the American AND the Oklahoma flag. Bonus points!
Ace ALSO has taxidermical interior design, with gaslight accents...and they're a little less dusty than the ones at Meers. (See my post for "And THAT's the News in Red Dirt Country" for an explanation re: this caption).
Every narrow aisle is stacked from the hardwood floor to just below the ceiling with inventory. It's kind of like being in your grandparent's attic.
Bingo, mission accomplished! The chlorine tablets are in stock and I'm taking one home to my hubby!
This is Alex. Not only was he kind enough to pose for a photo, but he assured me that the chlorine tablets were going to stay at a reasonable price until I needed them next time. This shot also made me realize that it may not have been dust at the cow pen, but a fingerprint on my lens...oh no!
Do you know why I embrace the fact that Ace carries Dickies brand outer and work wear? No, it's not because the clothing is good...although it may be. (See next photo).
It's because Dickies has hunky models for their Ace Hardware ads! Sigh.

Okay, time to leave the store.  On my way out I cleaned off my lens because I thought there might be a few shots left of something I’d like to share with you from my journey through Logan County.  There was.

Rather than beavers, eagles, bears or other wildlife, artists in Guthrie carve high school football players from their dead trees. It takes skill to carve that football with a chainsaw and not cut it off!
It's pansy time, and the window boxes in Guthrie were full of them!
I drove by this hot rod and it yelled at me. I heard it. It said, "Ditch the RX300 and take me on your ride around Logan County instead...I know where I'm going!" I couldn't look it in the eye or I would have caved. Sorry, hot rod. I had to get home.

On my way home I took Waterloo Road (the county line between Oklahoma and Logan counties) on a back-road route because I really needed some farm raised eggs.  We were down to one, and if I eat one more runny store-purchased egg I’m going to throw a fit.   Unfortunately, the egg sign was down.  That’s country talk for, “None right now.  Check with me later.”  So, I drove the last few miles home.

But then I stopped again.  I saw Ferdinand sitting under his cork tree.  Okay, it wasn’t Ferdinand the Spanish Bull from the well-known children’s book, he didn’t have long horns and it wasn’t a cork tree.  But it was a black Angus and he was looking pretty majestic under his beautiful tree this afternoon.

Add horns, pretend it's a cork tree, and cue the Spanish Bull Fighter music. Ole'!
I had to tiptoe over a cattle guard to take this shot. Not to be outdone by a chainsaw artist, these ranchers created their own art by hanging cobalt, white and mauve bottles from their dead tree. Reminds me of Sante Fe, NM for some reason.

Well, you’ve seen about 25 of the 100+ shots I took…all reasons why I love Logan County.  I hope next time you’ll see a photo of me buying fresh eggs and celebrating because the chlorine tablets are no longer $56.00 per bucket.  Either way, I also hope you enjoy your own drive through this area sometime.  And if you do, please send us a photo and tell us about the treasures you found.

Take care…RDK

RDC News and Updates: “What’s New” Plus Standards and Practices

Hello there, dear RDC community.  I’m sitting here with wet hair in my big fuzzy bathrobe and no house shoes in a 65 degree house trying to write an entry about “what’s new” when all I can think about is whether or not the hot water on my stove is boiling yet so I can make some tea. I also ALMOST edited that sentence because it was too long.  I didn’t, however, because the point of it and the rest of this article is to share with you just a bit about who we are, what we do and why we do it. And, the fact that an occasional long sentence slips in is just part of how we’re structured right now.

The RDC will be deploying our 200th post this upcoming week.  We’ll hit our 17,000th view sometime on Sunday or Monday and we’ll be giving away more promotions in November and December than the previous four months combined.  We kicked off two new areas of writing this month (a series on “Where the Red Fern Grew” and the “Stockyards City Cookbook Cook-Through“) and have added a few more contributors as well.  Since our last update Kendy, Jennifer, Jani, Whitni, Michael (guest blogger) and Dan have joined our team.  Our “Friends of the RDC” are also growing and we couldn’t be happier; we generally have between 100-250 views per day with some spikes these past few months hitting 600-1100, depending upon what content was deployed.  What this means, however, is that we’re adjusting to that growth.

This week I’ll be talking to someone about managing our promotions and advertising.  We’re going to celebrate our 6 month birthday by launching a new website, designed to be more efficient for someone who might visit us, as well as more visually appealing.  We’re also having a first official “contributor meeting” on December 11th at which time we’re going to make a decision about which way to steer the RDC in terms of a business model.  And, we have a few interviews scheduled for this next month that make me think we’re beginning to get noticed as perhaps a place that has some beneficial contribution.

And, while I’m really happy about all that is going on around here, I also want to let you know that we’re doing our best to keep our side of the street clean.  What that means is that the world of blogging isn’t very well-defined.  If you go to WordPress.Com and simply begin looking through a random selection of blogs you will find some amazing work, and some extremely poor work.  Some bloggers simply post other work they’ve found and would like to share.  That’s fine as long as they are referencing the source, and most do.  Others appear to be writing all their content but sometimes you can’t tell about their images.  And finally, there are those who cite or link to their sources, credit their photos and seem to be doing the best they can to keep their own standards high.

In case you’ve wondered in the past, we write all our own content.  We shoot all our own photos or credit the source from which they were derived.  If there’s no credit, then we purchased the license for that image from a photograph company.  And, we link to all our references or sources whenever we feel you might need further context or the original source supporting what we have created.  Right now, I do light editing for every release except sports.  Rob is our sports editor.  And, when I feel like I need to make a decision about something I’ll bounce a question off Julie (she was my first co-contributor) or send it out to our whole team.

I’m sharing this information, in part, because of a very unfortunate copywrighting issue that came out on the Reddit and Facebook communities this week.  This link pretty much explains just how bad theft can get when it comes to plagiarism and blatant use of what was deemed to be Best Place Order Tramadol Online the fact that “all content on the internet is public domain.” Cook’s Source Magazine royally ticked off “the internet” and they’re paying for it handily.

So, everything in this letter (except for the previous immediate paragraph) pretty much sums up the way we do business.  But we also “do business” on a volunteer and for-a-hobby only status right now…which is why I’m in my bathrobe writing to you this morning.  After December that might change, but for right now all you see is simply because of the heart of those who write it.

Have a wonderful Saturday in Red Dirt Country.  Y’all come back now, ya hear?